I have spoken to a lot of people from all ages about their dreams. On the surface, all look perfect. Each one has something or some things that they want to achieve in their life such as travelling around the world, having a dream house, having a lot of cash...
But the true confusion pops out when I ask the question "What's your plan?" Most answers I hear are sometimes ironic, sometimes ridiculous, sometimes kiddish and sometimes out of whack! I do respect someone's right to chase their dreams in their own unique ways. But the common question remains : "By doing what we are doing, is it going to bring us closer to that dream?" Most of the time, the answer is NO. That's the issue.
I am not able to analyze everyone's dream and their plans. While saying so, I am able to introduce some techniques that can at least help us verify if our plans and our dreams are indeed aligned.
First, we need to understand what is actually required to achieve a specific dream of ours. For example, we want to be able to travel around the world. What do you actually need? To me, it is about money and health.
Next, we need to look at all the key activities that we are doing currently and identify those that we think can help us achieve that dream. List down all the ones that we think will be able to help us achieve that dream. Once you have that list, apply the '5 why's' (5Y) technique. For example, one may have identified learning French as an important step. Start the 5Y process:
Q1 : Why learning French can help achieve my dream?
A : I can communicate better with the locals
Q2 : Why better communication with locals can help achieve my dream of travel around the world?
A : ????
If you get stuck, that means that activity you plan most likely is not going to help you achieve that dream. It may help by adding value but it is NOT bringing us closer to that dream. However, if the dream is 'to live in France' for 1 year, then learning Frenck helps. You then continue with th 5Y.
Q2 : Why better communication with locals can help achieve my dream of travel around the world?
A : It helps me to become part of the society.
Q3 : Why becoming part of the society is important?
A : I will be able to live a fuller life but accepting the values of the French people.
Q4 : Why do we need to live a fuller life?
A : So that it will give me a unique experience that I will remember forever
Q5 : Why do you want to remember a unique experience forever?
A : If we look back at life, it is all about memories and the more unique experiences I have, the more quality life I have lived.
Of course, we can always continue to ask why. But generally, once we hit the fifth why, it gets down to the core reason and most likely that is really what you want.
Good luck, dream chasers!
9 comments:
I always have dreams in life and i am happy even if i realise it or not. Do you realise once we seized our dream, we didn't know what's next and we forgot the joy of achieving it? So i learn to enjoy even the process to realise the dream and not the result of it. How about you?
Life is a journey, not a destination. I always enjoy the process (or journey) like you too. :)kua
Talking about dreams, i have something funny to share with you, it's my true story.
I had a boyfriend before and he was a jealous man. I was quite a sociable girl at that time and i always have dreams to achieve in career and life. Well, he always stopped me and asked me just stay with him at home. Of course, we broke up at last.
My best friend told me, "We must dare to dream to succeed in life. If someone loves you, he or she should not be your DREAM STEALER. Instead he or she should just support you and dream with you, see how far both can go and be success in life." You agree or what do you think?
Love among couples is not always about sacrificng for each other but could also mean sacrificing for the relationship.
When both have the same dreams, it may appear to be sacrificing for each other but actually it's meant for the relationship i.e both.
So, if the girl dreams of something that is more for her own, the guy may view it as detrimental to the relationship and discourages that. Some will call it 'dream stealer'.
Same goes for the guy. If he dreams of leaving the girl in home country and wants to help war-torn countries for 5 years with chances of getting killed, would the girl encourage or discourage the guy?
To me, the fine line is drawn on whether the dream is for the person alone or for the relationship. More often than not, it is the perception that chasing one's dream may be detrimental to the relationship. Again, more often than not, it is the misunderstanding more than a fact :)
Love is to respect, understand, not selfish and to care for others. When we know how to love ourselves, we then what love is all about.
But i knew before i married, wanted to have new life now but scare that i hurt people who loves me. What can i do?
Dear Happy,
It is most likely a case of 'fear of the unknown'. You think you may hurt and that thought probably stops you from thinking further. May be you want to read my article on 'thinking BEYOND the box' which helps to find out what the real issue is.
I read already. Thank you for the sharing. It is very true and now i realise we should 'think out of the box' instead.
So, seems like you have very different ideas towards life and you have a clear mind for everything. Just wonder in real life, are you not having problems? And how you handle them?
Dear Happy,
Would like to explain a bit on the difference of 'thinking out of the box' and 'thinking beyond the box'.
Thinking out of the box's objective is to think creatively to find a solution to a problem.
Thinking BEYOND the box has a different objective. It's designed to manage the 'fear of the unknown'. A lot of times, we are so afraid of a possible bad result that we stop thinking beyond that point. Example: You may be aware that parents must register for their baby's birth cert within 2 weeks or else there will be a fine. So, a lot of people will try to do it before then, worried that they may be fined. If we think beyond the box and ask 'so what if there's a fine?' one will realize that the fine is RM10 for 1st 3 months :)
Very much reasonable. For me, i always ask about PRICE TO PAY if i make a decision, so i don't mind paying if the decision can bring benefits in long run.
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