Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Selfish or selfless ?

This is a very interesting subject because it is a matter of where we draw the line. A father who robs to feed his family could be a selfish act because he is gaining at the expense of others. At the same time it's also a selfless act because he risks his safety for his family at least in the eyes of his kids.

As it is really a case of where we draw the line or which side of the fence we happen to be, it is therefore very hard to decide what emotions we should have for a thief who steals for his ailing kids.

So one man's meat is really another man's poison. As every case is totally relative, personally I have stopped reacting but remain indifferent instead.

I prefer to view this type of situations as a 'bet' i.e. the father takes a risk and if he succeeds, he has the money and if he fails, he has the punishment as well as not having the money.

Why is this discussion important? Some may ask. Of course it's important because many of us are faced with this situation but are not aware of it. If you ask most proud parents, they usually will tell you about the right things they are doing or sacrificing for the family be it good or bad things, be it legal or illegal, be it selfish or selfless. But one thing is consistent. They will justify that they need to do it for the family. How could that be wrong? The worse thing is that when the person fails and faces the punishment, the parent can even blame the merciless judge, blame the screwed up society or blame the creator. Again they ask the question 'how could it be wrong when I'm sacrificing for the family?' Then some Hollywood or Hong Kong director will make a movie out of it with the infamous line 'inspired by a true story'

So, rather than deciding whether we should be compassionate in situation like this, rather than justifying the unwholesome things that we do, why not view it as a bet. If we are the neutral party, stay neutral and just note that one guy has lost his bet. If we are having some unwholesome sacrifices, tell ourselves we must find alternatives because in betting, we don't win all the time.