How different is difference?

Most of us, including myself, analyze things by spotting the differences; long versus short, large versus small or red versus blue. This works well most of the time especially when things are concerned. When it comes to people, it gets more difficult as I start to relate the difference to my values and make judgement accordingly.

What I have learnt to accept differences nowadays is not about trying to rationalize the differences. Logically, it makes sense and things should work easily. However, the fact of the matter is that my unconscious mind (UM) is objecting the decision to fully embracing the logic and the difference. Why?

I notice the UM works like our blood. The moment there is a 'foreign' matter detected in the body, an automatic mechanism is activated to reject the matter and start attacking it, sometimes to the point of over-reacting or better known as allergy. I notice UM is the same. It can still overreact although we consciously reason with it and the reasons seem substantial. It just rejects.

So, instead of trying to reconcile the difference, I now apply a different strategy. I reconcile using the similarities. In other words, it's not a foreign matter but a very similar matter like my own type, only that  it varies to a small extent. Surprisingly, the acceptance is much higher instantly. Yup! I found my own  vaccine!

So, here is the concoction for the vaccine :

When we identify 2 things being different, they are not truly different. In fact, they are the same except for some part (or sub modalities) of the matter vary to some degrees. Take for instance an angry man. How different is he from a cool guy? The angry guy is the same as the cool guy except for the following:

- intensity : he has more irritation than the cool guy 

- frequency : he is angry more often that the cool guy

- range : the angry guy could go up to throwing things around while the cool guy merely talks louder
- sequence : the angry guy flares first then think while the cool guy think first before flaring

For me, I find it easier to accept the difference and over and above that, I know in which areas the person should work on. 

Let's take another example: procrastination

- intensity: that guy can procrastinate for 2 weeks while mine is only 2 days

- frequency: that guy does it every day while I do it some of the days

- range: that guy procrastinates on all matters while I only do it for major matters
- sequence: that guy will do after procrastinating while I just do without the earlier step

Hey, aren't we both the same, we both get the work done??!!