Biggest and Longest Project Ever - LIFE

Recently, I have been using the term 'project' very frequently. Each time an event has been completed, I asked myself, "What's the next project?" When I am going through some times of difficulties, I have a feeling that I am still in the midst of a complicated project and somehow I know that it will take some time and effort before it is completed: because it's a project.

Today, I realize that all these mini projects that I do monthly and the mid-sized projects that I do yearly are all connected. It is part of another bigger project called 'LIFE'. Hence if I break down LIFE, it is made up of multiple projects that are geared towards a bigger outcome. The interesting point is if I can create and align my projects towards a specific direction, can I then determine the outcome of my LIFE? Yes, I do! And while some may comment that there are surprises in life, I would take those surprises as additional bonuses just like 'chance' and 'opportunity' cards in the game of Monopoly. And these events are another sets of projects too :)

So, I would like to suggest to you to view life as a mega project and in it, lies many projects that are partially effected by us and partly affected by the environment. The reason for this is that when we take on the role as a Project Manager, we could easily identify the skills and qualities that we need and if we can build on those requirements, projects become much smoother and meaningful and so will life be.

Here are my take about being a Project Manager that will help shape your life:

1. In a project, there are a beginning and an ending.
1. Whatever we endure may come to an end. Focus on the immediate steps because if we can do the immediate steps well, we can do the next immediate steps well too.
2. Whatever we enjoy may end too. We constantly need to identify and start new projects.
2. Project management helps us focus better on:
1. what is important and what is not. 
2. what we need to do next. 
3. In project management, we need multiple skills.
1. Vision - to define the outcome we want in each project and align the outcome of each project to form  a larger outcome.
2. Leverage - we need to identify and connect with people that can help us in our project, just like how a developer needs to employ engineers, architects and contractors.
3. Leadership - how to lead the team towards what we want them to do while fully aware that they don't necessarily report to us.
4. Creativity - how to develop options when things are not going the way we want.
5. Resourcefulness - how to get the resources we need for projects and solving blockages.
6. Self Motivation - how to keep ourselves focused and energized to move on including having the right coach or mentor.
7. Perseverance - humble enough to know that we can effect a change but the environment can affect that change too. Being patient and knowing when to do what is important.
4. When things are going well, look far for opportunities. When things are not smooth, look near and focus on the immediate steps so that if we can do these steps well, the 'next' immediate steps can be accomplished too.
5. Change in plan is expected:
1. The environment may be adverse at times. 
2. If we cannot solve it, we need to resolve it i.e. finding a closure and move on.

And equally important, design a project called 'Happiness' because happiness does not come free. We need to work on it too!

Building Self Esteem

In my coaching sessions, I have come across cases of clients who are not confident or people who are hard to please themselves. It looks normal? Well it is, if the person runs a mental program (pattern) so often that it has become a habit and is executed without any thinking. It becomes natural reflex!

There are a few common causes for low self esteem and low confidence. The most common one is the Asian value of trying to be humble. What it means by humble is that we are not supposed to think highly of ourselves in fear of being egoistic and stop learning. In the process of 'being humble', we discount ourselves more than necessary, we lose our esteem and our confidence as well.

Another reason for the low esteem comes from denying our strengths. 'Fake it till you make it' - if we deny so much and so often, what we deny becomes true. Example: If someone says you are good at singing of which you are but you deny, you may become what you deny. However, this is different from another scenario where the person knows he is good and he is confident about himself, but just want to deny it only to show off his singing later. For those who have such practice, if you think that it's humbling, then I'm sorry to say not all see it that way. Some, including me, see it as insulting the person who gives the compliment and a person who is egoistic because his words and actions are not congruent!

The next reason, which is a result of past incidents from self, school, family, friends and environment, is that the person truly thinks he does not DESERVE good things or good treatment. He believes that he is a second class citizen, he is the child of a lesser God, he is the adopted child in the family….to the point that he is unable to accept help and compliments because he believes he is not WORTH it and hence, does not deserve anything good. It could be related to guilt that was seeded in the earlier days or in some past events, but we will not discuss that in this round.

Regardless of what level you are at, whether you have any of the signs mentioned above or are totally free from these problems, there are some easy things that when you use it often, it will build and continuously build your self esteem. It may sound simple and magically it works:

1. When someone gives you a compliment and you think it's genuine, say THANK YOU.
• This will help you to accept compliments when due. If we can accept critics when it's bad, wouldn't it be fair we can also accept compliments?
2. When you have genuinely helped someone and the person thinks it is a great help and thank you for that, says YOU ARE WELCOME. I'M GLAD I COULD HELP.
• This gesture will help us to acknowledge to ourselves that we are capable of helping others. We are more than we think.
3. APPRECIATE the things, skills and knowledge that you ALREADY HAVE. 
• Do not add the word 'BUT' at the back followed by some negative comments as it will erode your self esteem. 
• If you cannot think of any, remember those moments where either people say 'thank you' to you or you say 'welcome' to people. 
• By doing so, you will notice that you are richer and more enriched than you think. 
4. CELEBRATE your achievements.
• When you celebrate, you are reminding yourself of your success which will help you boost your confidence.
• The visual, sound and actions of the celebration get wired into your mental system and it will motivate you to want more achievements.
5. UPGRADE yourself
• There is this fear that when we appreciate too much and celebrate too much, we become lazy and stop growing. That's why I encourage you to upgrade yourself so that you continue to learn and continue to celebrate and continue to appreciate.
• However, upgrading yourself does not necessarily mean growing in the same areas. You may decide to keep your skills where you are in the meantime, and upgrade something else that is more important at this point in time. Example, if a person has enough income, he may want to consider having better health. If he thinks that he can have more money, go ahead…as long as it is an upgrade.

Follow these simple guidelines, and see how the self esteem and confidence are built every day and before long, it becomes your new habits. In short, practice these 4 things:

ACKNOWLEDGE

APPRECIATE

CELEBRATE

UPGRADE

Addressing a problem with SOAP

Problems and solutions are actually the same thing but at different times. The former is at the beginning while the latter is at the end. So, problem and solution are just part of an event. And it becomes a problem when we give a meaning to that situation and label it as PROBLEM.

Well, we will not go into the meaning we give to a particular situation today. We will focus our discussion in the assumption that analyses have been done and the situation has been identified as a problem.

Now, I see people 'solving' problems in my line of work and many are not clear of what they can or cannot do. I guess it's fair to say that if our solutions to a problem evolve around what we cannot do, it is not a good strategy.

So, at the very beginning when we approach a problem, we can first determine what we can or cannot do so that we focus on the right strategies. However, do note that if there are areas where we don't have the capability, do remember that we can leverage on others to help.

To keep it simple what strategies are more effective, I have coined an acronym 'S.O.A.P.' It stands for 4 approaches to a problem : Solve, Overcome, Avoid and Prevent.'

Solve:
We design a solution that can neutralize the problem. For example, we fix a leaking tap or change the tyres of our car. When using the 'solving' approach, check whether you have the RESOURCES to get the job done. Resources here refer to time, money and effort. If yes, the solving is an effective way.

Prevent:
We always here the saying 'prevention is better than cure'. While preventing seems to be the best solution, the question remains: Can you control the source of the problem? If you have no control of  the source, then preventing will not be effective. We employ the right staff to execute the work to prevent  facing problems later. The key to this strategy is that we have CONTROL over the source of the problem.

Avoid:
In avoiding, we have no control over the source of the problem. When the problem happens, we make sure we are out of harm's way and in doing so, are not affected by the negative factors. Avoiding is a good strategy if we have MOBILITY i.e. we have the capability to move things around. Examples of avoiding a problem is like we back up our business data. We know hacking and computer virus could cause data loss, so we keep a separate set of backup in an independent storage.

Overcome:
When we don't have the resources to solve a problem, we don't have control over the problem source and we cannot avoid the issue, then overcoming becomes a relevant approach. In other words, we receive the beatings of the problem but we compensate the situation with benefits from other sources so that the net effect is not too bad. When a person is stuck in a jam, she may overcome her frustration by listening to her favorite songs.

Now, let's use  SOAP on some of the common scenarios below:

• Your expenses will go up when GST is implemented:
• Can you stop GST? No. So prevention is out.
• Do you have the resources to solve GST? No, you are not the government.
• Can you avoid? Well, if you want to migrate, then it makes sense. If not, no.
• Can you overcome? Yes, that's the only option left anyway :) We can increase our price like the rest to make more money and we can look for new business to cover for higher expenses. We can also save by cutting wastage.
• Your business will cost higher once GST is implemented and you anticipate your customers may buy less:
• Solve: I'm able to justify the price increase and my clients should be able to accept since my products are unique (i.e. you have the resources to maintain sales)
• Prevent: I lock the price in 2014 for 2 years so that my customers get 6% discount to nullify GST.
• Avoid: I position my services under 'education' so that it is exempted from GST.
• Overcome: Well, I need to get more customers to cover for the possible sales decline in my  current customers.

Happy solving!

You are investing. Really?

Like most people who want to have a better and more comfortable life in the future, I make sure I make my money work hard just like me. We want be sure we can arrive at the desirable financial state on time….or perhaps in time.

Many laypersons like me who are not from the finance and investment industries, we are less attracted to technical and financial terms such as GDP, national debt or moving averages. Most laypersons are more interested in “how much the interest is, how much I can get if I were to invest for 5 years or how much I can sell off this house after 5 years?”. The financial elements that we are interested in are those that benefit or threaten us directly and immediately. That’s why I write this article to give a better understanding of the concepts related to investment s from a layperson perspective so that we are clearer on our financial positions and also the purposes of certain investing. 

‘Investment’ is one of the most common financial terms used in our daily dialog. We use this term for anything ranging from buying a house to buying a mobile phone. To be fair, even developers and property agents also use the term ‘investment’ loosely to indicate ‘you can make money.’ In concept, investment refers to money that you already have and you want to make your money work harder i.e. give you better returns. So what are considered as money you already have? Your hard-earned money you have in the bank or EPF, your money in the form of shares or bonds that you have paid for and also the house you have already owned. The key word is ‘have’ which means the investments you have are already fully owned by you.

Now, let’s take a look at a house you intend to buy. The property is sold to you at RM500,000 and you think that this property can appreciate rapidly in the next 5 years. You feel good because you have made a sound investment. The question is: “Did you pay with your own money or you take a housing loan to make the purchase?” If you are using your own money that you already have, then it is called investment. But if you do not own the $500,000 and are using a bank loan, you are actually not investing. You are actually trading. The simple concept of trading is ‘buy low and sell high’. For instance, you buy a property at $500,000 and you sell it later for $700,000 to  make $200,000. With the margin you make, you settle the loan and interests incurred by the loan you have taken earlier and the balance is called ‘profit before property gain tax’. Is the property purchase different from a convenient store that buys bread at $2.80 and sells to a shopper at $3.20? It’s more or less the same i.e. “buy low and sell high”. So, when you buy something not with your own money and you plan to sell it for a profit, you are actually trading.

In trading, the areas of focus will be quite different from investment. For investment, it is more towards return on investment and also its security. For trading, it's about ‘buy low and sell high’ and so profiteering comes from selling at higher prices (better margin), selling more at one time (better revenue) or accelerating the buying-selling cycle faster (faster turnaround). The other important factor will be how much you can ‘leverage’ by using other people’s money (e.g. bank loan) or other investors with real money. So, is the house that you live in right now yours? If yes, hope your investment is giving you good returns soon. If it is still under a bank loan, well…how is the trading so far?

There are times that you buy something to use and when you sell it away later, it is lower than the original price bought. A good example will be a car. Buying a car now and plan to sell it later at a loss is actually rental as a concept. The main difference is that in actual rental, you don’t own that car but in our rental concept discussed here, you own that car until you sell it away. The rental is equivalent to the difference of the initial price and the final price you sell the car away. For instance, when you buy a car for $100,000 and after 5 years, you sell it off at $50,000, the difference is $50,000. In other words, your rental per year is $10,000. Assuming you rent a car when you were traveling, what do you do with it? Yes, you maximize it. The same goes to the other things that you have bought and plan to sell later at a loss. Maximize the usage (without breaking it of course).

What about buying a better smart phone? Some call it investment. Really? Let’s do the analysis. Did you pay for it? Yes. Did you intend to sell it off at a higher or lower price? No. Then, the purchase of the smart phone is not related to investment and rental. However, if the phone helps a lot in your work or life, then it can be termed as an upgrade. Upgrade also gives us return on investment but not in a monetary form. The returns could come in the form of effort, time or comfort (quality). If the new phone allows you to reply to your mails without going back to the office, you could save time and effort. That’s a form of return but it is unrelated to money.

The above discussion has been made based on a single-minded intention. But in an actual environment, we may buy or invest in something for more than one intention. For example, we have a tradable property and at the same time, we also live in that property. Some rent out the property. So, how to treat your own unique scenario? My suggestion is to categorize your efforts into ‘cost-related’ and ‘revenue-related’.

Cost-related efforts help reduce your costs and because of that you can make a better margin. Revenue-related efforts on the other hand help increase the future selling and because of that, you make a better margin. So, if I rent out my property while waiting for the right time to sell it off, then my effort is cost-related because it helps me reduce the interests I need to pay to the bank. If I construct a swimming pool in my property, then it is revenue-related because I intend to fetch a higher price when I sell off.

Finally, there is one type of ‘investment’, which is truly not an investment but consumption. We buy it with the money we have, we don't intend to sell it and it does not fetch a decent price even if we try to sell it. All these things fall under ‘cost of doing business’ or some call it ‘necessary evil.’ These are things such as newspaper, petrol or entertainment that are necessary for the business or life but do not have a decent future value. So, if we buy a new phone to use because we like it, it is called consumption. Anyone telling himself or herself it’s an investment is merely camouflaging the guilt of shopping.

Let’s now summarize all these in my environment. I live in a semi-detached house that I have purchased using a bank loan and I intend to sell the house in next 7 years. Hhhhmmm….that’s trading. I bought a new car last year and I intend to sell it off in 5 years. Aaahhhh…that’s rental. I recently checked my shares in some mutual funds and the prices have gone up….that’s an investment. I plan to buy a new 60” TV this weekend, well…that will be an upgrade for comfort or may be it’s merely consumption!

What's stopping you?

When I do coaching with my clients, one of the very important factors that help accelerate the improvement is the ability to pinpoint the true underlying issue. Based on experience, the issue that is discussed at the beginning is usually not the real issue. The trap is, if we address the surface issue, the issue will not go away or in worse situations, it manifests itself in other forms of issues.

One of the effective technique I use for self improvement coaching is the CAWISHDA technique. The name sounds strange? It's an acronym made up of 4 words - can, will, should and dare.

When something cannot be done, most of us say 'I cannot do it'. On the surface, it appears like a skill problem. If it is a skill problem, then getting a teacher to teach will solve the problem. But why isn't that happening? Perhaps, it's more than just 'I cannot.'

When a person really cannot do something, it is skill-related and generally that can be resolved by learning and practicing. Even if you cannot reach your expectation, it's somewhere around there (partly because there are external factors that are out of your influence.

There are times that when we say we cannot, it could mean something else. Here are three possibilities:

I cannot = I will not (我不肯）
When it's about 'you will not', it means that you CAN do it but you don't WANT to do it in order to 'protect' some benefits that you are having now. For example, I will not join the gym because I don't want to lose my money if it turns out that I don't like it. So, I'm protecting my money from being wasted.

I cannot = I should not (我不该）
'Should' generally indicates that the action is violating certain rules or values that we have. In other words, we CAN do it but we don't think it's right to do it. For example, we can make a lot of money from helping others to raise fund. While that's legitimate and those who earn money out of it find that a 'win-win situation', others detest such acts. Hence, even if raising fund is something that they can do well, they will not do it as it violates their values.

I cannot = I dare not (我不敢）
There are times we know it is the right thing to do and logically we know we are able to do. But yet we don't do. It could be a case of confidence (state) or fear (emotion). Hence, it is more effective to focus on how to build confidence or manage the anxiety caused by fear. People who are afraid of height (vertigo) know the hanging bridge is safe. They also know that they are able to walk because walking on low grounds and walking a bridge is the same. And yet they don't because of the fear.

This is a short write up and we will not discuss how to handle value change or managing fear. However, the good news is that once we are able to bring the real issue to the table, your conscious mind can now see the actual problem and resolve it within your means.

So, each time when you hear someone says 'I cannot', always ask "you mean you cannot, you will not, you should not or you dare not?"

CAWISHDA!

What the Teacher could also mean

Perseverance

Among Asian values especially among the Chinese, perseverance is viewed as an important noble value. For those who subscribe or semi-subscribe to this value, it means one must work hard towards your dreams. If you fail, you try and try and still try until you make it regardless of the pain. Some go further: the more the pain the better because it means you are sincere and serious in achieving the set goals. Have you ever wondered in each of the Golden Horse awards for movies, most if not all winners will finish it with an important phrase "I will work harder!"

Alternative view:
Buddha questioned the meaning of life and why beings went through suffering. He renounced from his royal family in search of the truth. He followed many teachers but none gave him the the answers. He finally meditated under the Bodhi tree and eventually gained enlightenment.

For me, the Buddha had a vision. He wanted to know the root cause of suffering and intended to end it. He tried different strategies (different teachers) and each time it did not work, he changed his strategy but kept his vision.

Suggested conclusion:
Perseverance means keep chasing your dream and do not give up. Perseverance does not mean keep to one strategy and keep doing until it works. So, fix your dream but change your strategies.

Impermanence

The moment we ask for examples about impermanence, generally most of us will refer to sickness, death, suffering and other elements that are negative. Some go to the extent to explain why life is full of  suffering.

Alternative view:
It's only half the truth. Impermanence technically means something will not stay the same forever and will subject to change when the factors change. Hence, it is true that good things may become bad and it also means that bad things may become good. So, change can be two-way. When a person is sick and after that recovers, that's impermanence. When you get an increment in salary, that's a change from lower to higher salary and is also impermanence. When your kid grows taller, that is also a change i.e. impermanence.

Suggested conclusion:
Should we include change, improvement, recovery, growth and wisdom as new meanings of impermanence?

1st Noble Truth: Life is suffering

I have heard this truth many times. When there is 'first', it suggests that there is more than one. So what about the other truths? For those who only stay at the 1st noble truth, they will propagate the situation and in my view, have created more negativity than improving the situation.

Alternative view:
There are 4 noble truths:
1. Life is suffering
2. Craving is the root cause of suffering
3. If we can remove craving, we remove suffering
4. There is a way to  remove it and it's called the Noble 8-fold path

There are 3 truths that are ignored when anyone mentions the 1st noble truth. 'Life is suffering' is just a way to state the current situation. So, for those who only propagate this truth, you are reporting the truth  in a different context. Please remember to complete the other 3 truths for complete 'reporting'.

Suggested conclusion:
Hey! Whatever life situation you are in, don't worry. It happens to everyone from time to time. The good news is there is way out and let me share with you the Noble 8-Fold Path.

How different is difference?

Most of us, including myself, analyze things by spotting the differences; long versus short, large versus small or red versus blue. This works well most of the time especially when things are concerned. When it comes to people, it gets more difficult as I start to relate the difference to my values and make judgement accordingly.

What I have learnt to accept differences nowadays is not about trying to rationalize the differences. Logically, it makes sense and things should work easily. However, the fact of the matter is that my unconscious mind (UM) is objecting the decision to fully embracing the logic and the difference. Why?

I notice the UM works like our blood. The moment there is a 'foreign' matter detected in the body, an automatic mechanism is activated to reject the matter and start attacking it, sometimes to the point of over-reacting or better known as allergy. I notice UM is the same. It can still overreact although we consciously reason with it and the reasons seem substantial. It just rejects.

So, instead of trying to reconcile the difference, I now apply a different strategy. I reconcile using the similarities. In other words, it's not a foreign matter but a very similar matter like my own type, only that  it varies to a small extent. Surprisingly, the acceptance is much higher instantly. Yup! I found my own  vaccine!

So, here is the concoction for the vaccine :

When we identify 2 things being different, they are not truly different. In fact, they are the same except for some part (or sub modalities) of the matter vary to some degrees. Take for instance an angry man. How different is he from a cool guy? The angry guy is the same as the cool guy except for the following:

- intensity : he has more irritation than the cool guy 

- frequency : he is angry more often that the cool guy

- range : the angry guy could go up to throwing things around while the cool guy merely talks louder
- sequence : the angry guy flares first then think while the cool guy think first before flaring

For me, I find it easier to accept the difference and over and above that, I know in which areas the person should work on. 

Let's take another example: procrastination

- intensity: that guy can procrastinate for 2 weeks while mine is only 2 days

- frequency: that guy does it every day while I do it some of the days

- range: that guy procrastinates on all matters while I only do it for major matters
- sequence: that guy will do after procrastinating while I just do without the earlier step

Hey, aren't we both the same, we both get the work done??!!