Solving Solutions?

The title does sound funny, redundant or probably non-sensical! However, there's a reason for it and this is usually a case of us being so deep in the woods that we see the trees but not the forest itself.

For example, I bought a new house and need money to renovate. Because I need to renovate, I need to sell off some of my shares. But the price is not the best yet. I spoke to an expert in stock markets and he asked me to meet him in 2 week's time to discuss. But I will be traveling by then and he offered to email me his comments instead. But my personal mail is currently down and so I need to use my phone. But I don't know how to activate my MMS and am now trying to solve the mms problem. I called my service provider a few times but the line has always been busy.

Now, what is my actual problem? Service provider, MMS, email, traveling, share price, money or renovation? It could be either one or it could even be all the above.

So, you can see how easy we can get lost in this jungle of events if we are not careful or don’t take time to map and review the series of events.

So, it is aptly to say that sometimes we are trying to 'solve the solution instead of the problem'!!

So, each time we are stuck in a situation, start mapping the events. Ask ourselves what the real issue is to verify if we are trying to solve a problem or solve a ‘solution’. If it's the solution that we are trying to solve, then go back up the map to see what options we can replace for this solution. If no options available, move up one more level. You will be amazed that sometimes we are barking at the wrong tree or looking for an answer in the wrong place. Don't be surprised suddenly someone says to you that ‘hey! You are thinking out of the box!’

As for my renovation case, it’s neither one of the above reasons I have listed. I prefer to treat it as a renovation timing problem and has postponed my renovation for another 4 weeks!
So, let's start solving problems, not solutions!

Maintaining or rotting?

What happen if you leave your car for 2 weeks without driving? It most likely won't start. Keep your leather bags for 6 months in a cupboard and again most likely it goes moldy. Stop using your brain for 10 years? Well...mmm...let's not get into that.

The interesting point here is that 'if you don't use something for a long time, it doesn't mean it remains new. Instead, it rots!!'

It's the same for a car, a bag or a skill. So, when we keep polishing our skills, sometimes we are only maintaining our standard only from rrrrotting.

However, a lot of people have the impression that if we don’t do anything, we are maintaining at where we are...a dangerous misconception indeed!

When we see some experienced colleagues or friends that refuse to upgrade their skills, refuse to change their attitude, refuse to know more, so what’s gonna happen? Slowly but surely, they will rot. So, it is true and also sad to say that ‘maintaining is actually rotting.’

But is that all? Nope, there are more rotting news unfortunately. Not moving anywhere also causes rotting. For a lot of school leavers as well as middle age people, sometimes we do not know where we should be heading in our life. Some of us are busy developing options in this limbo but there are some who will just hang around, enjoying the bliss of ‘que sera sera’. For those who only hang around, it may very well be another form of rotting too!

So, open the window of your heart. Let the fresh air gush into the room and replace the stale rotting air. Open your brain too. Let the creative juice flow in to replace the expired stagnant cholesterol!

I-see-I-saw

It's quite amazing to see a series of happy and sad events happening in less than 2 months.

It started with my father-in-law diagnozed for cancer. He passed away 4 weeks ago and exactly 7 days later, my colleague got married. Then for exactly 7 days again, my sister-in-law gave birth to a baby girl! All in all, I saw sickness, death, wedding and birth. (could this be the new version of the 4 sights that Buddha saw?)

Is this a cycle? Would sickness be the next thing to happen again? I'm not sure about that. But one thing I can be very sure of is that there will always be a mixture of happy and sad events. And above all else, what I'm even more sure of is that what we are happy about today can be the very reason why we are sad tomorrow.

Simply put, every event comes neutral. But with our own perspective, we generate an emotion out of it. This emotion can be so strong that we manage to keep the bad side of the event out of the picture for the time being.

When we celebrate a birth, there has to be death. And death is in itself a new beginning of another event. Hence, it's not really negative when we think of the bad side but it's more of thinking NEUTRAL.

By thinking neutral, we still can continue to be happy, not so much because we forget there is a sad part to it but more because we appreciate the event and capture the moment. Above that, we are happy because we are able to appreciate the beautiful nature of ups and downs.

So, when there's a down side in your life now, don't despair. It’s so happen you are on the down side of the see saw. Things will change soon as we ride this see saw.
So, have fun riding the see-saw in this playground called life!

Corporate heaven...is there such a thing?

Most working people have split personalities. How can we tell? They behave so differently in their personal life from their working life. Some can be a loving father at home but a monster at work. Some are such educationists to their kids but yet never want to learn anything new at work.

Many have found a good reason to justify the way they behave. "Have to earn a living, right?" In other words, who cares about the methods and behaviour as long as I can get what I think is noble?

Equipped with this reason, many justify why it's ok to lie at work, 'tah pau' toilet rolls for home use, gain trust from bosses by supplying office rumours.

We must understand that in the works of karma or in the eyes of god: lying is lying while cheating is plain cheating.

If lying 100 times 'earns' you a big slap, it doesn't matter whether it comes from work or from private life because lying is still lying. Hell doesn't differentiate unwholesome actions from work or home.

When we say we want to lead a quality life, it doesn't mean only our private life. It should encompass work life too. We spend at least half of our waking hours at work. Our colleagues see us more than our family. Any compromise in work life simply means 'a life half lived'.

What shall we do? It's quite simple actually. Extend to your office as a part of your private life (what?? Sleeping during work hours?), and also extend your work life to the home (you mean continue to work at home? No way!!)

Hold your horses please! It doesn't mean we do it physically and literally. It means we need to equip our minds and our environment with the common fundamentals that we can apply at work as well as at home.

We have neighbours at home. Do we have one at work? Do we know anyone in the next office? We review our business quarterly. Do we review our personal progress?

In short, identify the positive values that we practice at work and extend it to our home. The same goes to the positive family values we have at home. If punctuality is a big thing at home, extend this value to work.

Once we are able to merge work and home, our split personalities will gradually disappear. 'We become ourselves' again.
So go ahead, make yourself at home...in the office!

Everyone is right (then who is wrong?)

There was this humorous zen story about some monks (monks again!!?)

2 monks were arguing on a contoversial topic. After a long debate, they still couldn't determine who was right. So, they decided to ask their master to decide.

When the 1st monk presented his viewpoints, the master quickly agreed that he was right. The 1st monk was satisfied and showed the 2nk monk a 'l-told-you' look.

The 2nd monk was shocked and explained to the master why his views were right and the 1st monk was wrong. The master, after pondering for a moment, also agreed with the 2nd monk! The 2nd monk also felt satisfied as truth finally prevailed.

At that time, there was also another monk that was attending to the master in the room. This monk was most shocked as he couldn't believe his respected master actually agreed with the 2 monks despite they had opposing views.

He agitatedly asked the master, "How can Master support 2 opposing views? Don't you think you are misleading your disciples?"

The master, without any hesitation, replied "You are right too!!!"

If you think this story is humorous, then that's how funny we are at times. All try to insist that their opinions are right which I believe we really are, based on our own perspective, background and what we view as priorities.

Many have heard of the saying 'seeing is believing'. However, do you know that each person that looks into a mirror see different images depending on where we stand?

To demonstrate our priority can make us feel so right, try answer this question:

"If you have $100,000, will you donate to an orphanage or an old folks home?"

No matter which organization you go for, you are RIGHT. Some argue that the orphans have a better future hence they should donate to orphanage. If that's true, what about letting the old folks have a good end since they have not much time left?

So, which one now? Still orphanage? Still old folks? Go with your priority. That's right. Just remember one thing: If you choose orphanage, don't argue with those who donate to old folks because...

You are right
They are right
I'm also right!

You can buy happiness, you know...

As opposed to a lot of movies, stories and even sermons, the conclusion at the end seems pretty standard: Money cannot buy everything. It can't buy love definitely according to the movie 'Indecent Proposal'.

I beg to differ. I think everyone can buy happiness. I have bought it before and bought some again yesterday. Let me share the secret with you...

Remember this : Each time you ‘draw out notes, aid the endangered', you are actually buying happiness. If you wonder why the first letter of the phrase quoted is bolded, it combines to give you the word ‘donate’!

In the Longman’s dictionary, the word ‘donate’ means ‘to give something, especially money, to a person or an organization in order to help them’

In my dictionary (in the mind only), the following can be found:

Donate (verb) - the act of buying happiness, originated from the mnemonics 'draw out notes, aid the endangered'

So, each time when we donate money to charity, remember that we are not actually parting with our money but are actually buying happiness. Just like any other products that we buy in a shop, it is sometimes a ‘cash and carry’ where you pay at the checkout and get it instantly. On the other hand, there are also products that involve a delivery such as a big piece of furniture.

The same goes to happiness. When you buy happiness (i.e. donate), sometimes you get instant happiness but there are some that come very much later, such as donations to construct an orphanage. Regardless of ‘cash & carry’ or ‘delivery-required’ happiness, you will sure get it. And if you are of the ‘kiasu’ type, then make sure you maximize your happiness when you have already paid for it!

So, ladies and gentlemen, kiasu or non-kiasu, get ready to:

‘draw out notes, aid the endangered'

Can you drive with your head keep looking back?

There's an interesting story about 2 monks. They were about to cross a river and in front was a helpless woman trying to cross too. One monk decided to carry the woman on his shoulder and crossed. The other monk was shocked as monks were not supposed to have contact with women.

When they reached the other side of the river bank, the 1st monk left the woman there and continued their journey. The other monk was still shocked and complaint that the 1st monk should not have done that.

After an hour of non-stop nagging, the 1st monk finally broke the silence and said,"I have left the woman at the river bank but you still carry that thought till here!"

This is a good story about clinging to a passing moment. A 'passing moment' to me is an event that is very important during then but yet no impact on the future. In time management, we use to call that 'urgent but not important'. When I miss a turn, my most normal reaction is always a world standard...curse the country and all the ancestors! I realized all those agitation was actually meaningless and missing a turn was just another 'passing moment' like carrying the woman across the river.

If the moment is gone, why should our mind keep clinging to it. Isn't it better to translate the agitation into positive energy and look for the next solution (next u-turn)? Keep looking back (clinging) will not change anything but only slow down our life from progressing.

So, the next time your computer hangs, re-boot. Lost a bag? Buy. Miss an appointment? Re-arrange. Lost a friend? Befriend.

Happy Wesak Day!