Biggest and Longest Project Ever - LIFE

Recently, I have been using the term 'project' very frequently. Each time an event has been completed, I asked myself, "What's the next project?" When I am going through some times of difficulties, I have a feeling that I am still in the midst of a complicated project and somehow I know that it will take some time and effort before it is completed: because it's a project.

Today, I realize that all these mini projects that I do monthly and the mid-sized projects that I do yearly are all connected. It is part of another bigger project called 'LIFE'. Hence if I break down LIFE, it is made up of multiple projects that are geared towards a bigger outcome. The interesting point is if I can create and align my projects towards a specific direction, can I then determine the outcome of my LIFE? Yes, I do! And while some may comment that there are surprises in life, I would take those surprises as additional bonuses just like 'chance' and 'opportunity' cards in the game of Monopoly. And these events are another sets of projects too :)

So, I would like to suggest to you to view life as a mega project and in it, lies many projects that are partially effected by us and partly affected by the environment. The reason for this is that when we take on the role as a Project Manager, we could easily identify the skills and qualities that we need and if we can build on those requirements, projects become much smoother and meaningful and so will life be.

Here are my take about being a Project Manager that will help shape your life:

1. In a project, there are a beginning and an ending.
1. Whatever we endure may come to an end. Focus on the immediate steps because if we can do the immediate steps well, we can do the next immediate steps well too.
2. Whatever we enjoy may end too. We constantly need to identify and start new projects.
2. Project management helps us focus better on:
1. what is important and what is not. 
2. what we need to do next. 
3. In project management, we need multiple skills.
1. Vision - to define the outcome we want in each project and align the outcome of each project to form  a larger outcome.
2. Leverage - we need to identify and connect with people that can help us in our project, just like how a developer needs to employ engineers, architects and contractors.
3. Leadership - how to lead the team towards what we want them to do while fully aware that they don't necessarily report to us.
4. Creativity - how to develop options when things are not going the way we want.
5. Resourcefulness - how to get the resources we need for projects and solving blockages.
6. Self Motivation - how to keep ourselves focused and energized to move on including having the right coach or mentor.
7. Perseverance - humble enough to know that we can effect a change but the environment can affect that change too. Being patient and knowing when to do what is important.
4. When things are going well, look far for opportunities. When things are not smooth, look near and focus on the immediate steps so that if we can do these steps well, the 'next' immediate steps can be accomplished too.
5. Change in plan is expected:
1. The environment may be adverse at times. 
2. If we cannot solve it, we need to resolve it i.e. finding a closure and move on.

And equally important, design a project called 'Happiness' because happiness does not come free. We need to work on it too!

Building Self Esteem

In my coaching sessions, I have come across cases of clients who are not confident or people who are hard to please themselves. It looks normal? Well it is, if the person runs a mental program (pattern) so often that it has become a habit and is executed without any thinking. It becomes natural reflex!

There are a few common causes for low self esteem and low confidence. The most common one is the Asian value of trying to be humble. What it means by humble is that we are not supposed to think highly of ourselves in fear of being egoistic and stop learning. In the process of 'being humble', we discount ourselves more than necessary, we lose our esteem and our confidence as well.

Another reason for the low esteem comes from denying our strengths. 'Fake it till you make it' - if we deny so much and so often, what we deny becomes true. Example: If someone says you are good at singing of which you are but you deny, you may become what you deny. However, this is different from another scenario where the person knows he is good and he is confident about himself, but just want to deny it only to show off his singing later. For those who have such practice, if you think that it's humbling, then I'm sorry to say not all see it that way. Some, including me, see it as insulting the person who gives the compliment and a person who is egoistic because his words and actions are not congruent!

The next reason, which is a result of past incidents from self, school, family, friends and environment, is that the person truly thinks he does not DESERVE good things or good treatment. He believes that he is a second class citizen, he is the child of a lesser God, he is the adopted child in the family….to the point that he is unable to accept help and compliments because he believes he is not WORTH it and hence, does not deserve anything good. It could be related to guilt that was seeded in the earlier days or in some past events, but we will not discuss that in this round.

Regardless of what level you are at, whether you have any of the signs mentioned above or are totally free from these problems, there are some easy things that when you use it often, it will build and continuously build your self esteem. It may sound simple and magically it works:

1. When someone gives you a compliment and you think it's genuine, say THANK YOU.
• This will help you to accept compliments when due. If we can accept critics when it's bad, wouldn't it be fair we can also accept compliments?
2. When you have genuinely helped someone and the person thinks it is a great help and thank you for that, says YOU ARE WELCOME. I'M GLAD I COULD HELP.
• This gesture will help us to acknowledge to ourselves that we are capable of helping others. We are more than we think.
3. APPRECIATE the things, skills and knowledge that you ALREADY HAVE. 
• Do not add the word 'BUT' at the back followed by some negative comments as it will erode your self esteem. 
• If you cannot think of any, remember those moments where either people say 'thank you' to you or you say 'welcome' to people. 
• By doing so, you will notice that you are richer and more enriched than you think. 
4. CELEBRATE your achievements.
• When you celebrate, you are reminding yourself of your success which will help you boost your confidence.
• The visual, sound and actions of the celebration get wired into your mental system and it will motivate you to want more achievements.
5. UPGRADE yourself
• There is this fear that when we appreciate too much and celebrate too much, we become lazy and stop growing. That's why I encourage you to upgrade yourself so that you continue to learn and continue to celebrate and continue to appreciate.
• However, upgrading yourself does not necessarily mean growing in the same areas. You may decide to keep your skills where you are in the meantime, and upgrade something else that is more important at this point in time. Example, if a person has enough income, he may want to consider having better health. If he thinks that he can have more money, go ahead…as long as it is an upgrade.

Follow these simple guidelines, and see how the self esteem and confidence are built every day and before long, it becomes your new habits. In short, practice these 4 things:

ACKNOWLEDGE

APPRECIATE

CELEBRATE

UPGRADE