When we want to do something, it is influenced by 'pull' as well as 'push' factors. Pull factors are those that motivate us to do it while push factors are those that force us to take certain actions (change the status quo) or inaction (remain status quo).
Well, I'm sure we have experienced something new and when we meet our friends or relatives, we want to share with them how great the experience was and how eager we wanted them to have that experience. But many a time, the listener responded with "well, I'm not sure if I can do that" especially the new experiences that involved some action or some adrenalin rush. All sorts of reasons were tabled but you tried every way to explain logically or factually why it was not a concern. After a long discussion, the verdict was 'inaction'.
I am one of those guys who have tried convincing and through experience find out that the FEAR of something (push factor) cannot be overcome by FACTS. You can bring a stack of stats to convince a guy that flying is not as dangerous as it seems, in fact is safer than driving...but who cares? Fear doesn't recognize facts. So, if you are still trying to use facts to convince someone to overcome his/her fear, I recommend you stop it and stop now because it just doesn't work! While you are explaining and demonstrating the facts, the listener (or non-listener) is thinking about the dangerous outcome from the action).
So, what do we do? It is better that we acknowledge the fear of the person and then look for ways to reduce it. If a person is scared of flying, tell them that their fear is valid but usually it applies to small planes. The larger planes are safer. In other words, do not dispel the myth of the fear but rather show how to handle the fear in different situations. Simply put, acknowledge and reduce makes more sense than dispelling the myth as far as the listener is concerned. The key is to make sense and unfortunately, logic and facts do not make sense when a person is in fear.
If we think we are brave and it doesn't apply to us, we do have fears. Are we not afraid of some investment plans to commit but the financial planner keeps blabbering with facts? Are we not worried about switching a job in fear of the unknown environment?
So acknowledge and alleviate. These are the facts that FEAR find factual. The rest of data? Later :)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, September 03, 2010
We chase dreams - are we?
I have spoken to a lot of people from all ages about their dreams. On the surface, all look perfect. Each one has something or some things that they want to achieve in their life such as travelling around the world, having a dream house, having a lot of cash...
But the true confusion pops out when I ask the question "What's your plan?" Most answers I hear are sometimes ironic, sometimes ridiculous, sometimes kiddish and sometimes out of whack! I do respect someone's right to chase their dreams in their own unique ways. But the common question remains : "By doing what we are doing, is it going to bring us closer to that dream?" Most of the time, the answer is NO. That's the issue.
I am not able to analyze everyone's dream and their plans. While saying so, I am able to introduce some techniques that can at least help us verify if our plans and our dreams are indeed aligned.
First, we need to understand what is actually required to achieve a specific dream of ours. For example, we want to be able to travel around the world. What do you actually need? To me, it is about money and health.
Next, we need to look at all the key activities that we are doing currently and identify those that we think can help us achieve that dream. List down all the ones that we think will be able to help us achieve that dream. Once you have that list, apply the '5 why's' (5Y) technique. For example, one may have identified learning French as an important step. Start the 5Y process:
Q1 : Why learning French can help achieve my dream?
A : I can communicate better with the locals
Q2 : Why better communication with locals can help achieve my dream of travel around the world?
A : ????
If you get stuck, that means that activity you plan most likely is not going to help you achieve that dream. It may help by adding value but it is NOT bringing us closer to that dream. However, if the dream is 'to live in France' for 1 year, then learning Frenck helps. You then continue with th 5Y.
Q2 : Why better communication with locals can help achieve my dream of travel around the world?
A : It helps me to become part of the society.
Q3 : Why becoming part of the society is important?
A : I will be able to live a fuller life but accepting the values of the French people.
Q4 : Why do we need to live a fuller life?
A : So that it will give me a unique experience that I will remember forever
Q5 : Why do you want to remember a unique experience forever?
A : If we look back at life, it is all about memories and the more unique experiences I have, the more quality life I have lived.
Of course, we can always continue to ask why. But generally, once we hit the fifth why, it gets down to the core reason and most likely that is really what you want.
Good luck, dream chasers!
But the true confusion pops out when I ask the question "What's your plan?" Most answers I hear are sometimes ironic, sometimes ridiculous, sometimes kiddish and sometimes out of whack! I do respect someone's right to chase their dreams in their own unique ways. But the common question remains : "By doing what we are doing, is it going to bring us closer to that dream?" Most of the time, the answer is NO. That's the issue.
I am not able to analyze everyone's dream and their plans. While saying so, I am able to introduce some techniques that can at least help us verify if our plans and our dreams are indeed aligned.
First, we need to understand what is actually required to achieve a specific dream of ours. For example, we want to be able to travel around the world. What do you actually need? To me, it is about money and health.
Next, we need to look at all the key activities that we are doing currently and identify those that we think can help us achieve that dream. List down all the ones that we think will be able to help us achieve that dream. Once you have that list, apply the '5 why's' (5Y) technique. For example, one may have identified learning French as an important step. Start the 5Y process:
Q1 : Why learning French can help achieve my dream?
A : I can communicate better with the locals
Q2 : Why better communication with locals can help achieve my dream of travel around the world?
A : ????
If you get stuck, that means that activity you plan most likely is not going to help you achieve that dream. It may help by adding value but it is NOT bringing us closer to that dream. However, if the dream is 'to live in France' for 1 year, then learning Frenck helps. You then continue with th 5Y.
Q2 : Why better communication with locals can help achieve my dream of travel around the world?
A : It helps me to become part of the society.
Q3 : Why becoming part of the society is important?
A : I will be able to live a fuller life but accepting the values of the French people.
Q4 : Why do we need to live a fuller life?
A : So that it will give me a unique experience that I will remember forever
Q5 : Why do you want to remember a unique experience forever?
A : If we look back at life, it is all about memories and the more unique experiences I have, the more quality life I have lived.
Of course, we can always continue to ask why. But generally, once we hit the fifth why, it gets down to the core reason and most likely that is really what you want.
Good luck, dream chasers!
Friday, July 09, 2010
We have our Codes of Ethics - but which set of codes?
I have read a book by Richard Ludlum about spy stories and he mentioned a very good insight about common sense. "Common sense is not seen from our eyes, but from the other guy's eyes". What looks illogical to us makes perfect logical sense for the other guy. There are many reasons but one key point is our codes of ethics (COE).
Sometimes we can see a stingy man who is spends so little on food but is willing to spend lavishly on their kids. Some treat others including strangers much better than they treat their own family members. Some are willing to donate thousands of dollars for charity but refuse to lend money to their desperate younger brother. All these examples are common and most of them may look stupid and inconsistent from our eyes.
All the time, our minds function by receiving specific events, interprets some meanings out of it, categorizes which group that meaning belongs to and make a decision. It looks exactly like what the other illogical guy is doing. But if our mind can tap into the other guy's mind, we will see that one important step is missing and that is, after categorizing the meaning, the mind will pick the right codes of ethics BEFORE making a decision on the next step. Actually we do the same, only that we are not aware of it.
So, the key point is that everyone draws out codes of ethics (COE) that suit to the situation. That explains why some things may look inconsistent in our eyes but to the other guy, it makes perfect sense.
Let's review the examples I have stated above and which COE I think they are using:
1. A stingy man is willing to spend so little on food but spends lavishly on their kids is using "I work for my family, not for myself".
2. Some treat others including strangers much better than they treat their own family members because they are probably using 'customer service'to treat strangers hence the good treatment.
3. Some are willing to donate thousands of dollars for charity but refuse to lend money to their younger brother. They could be using "Charity brings me more good returns" but for lending money, unfortunately they use another COE called "guidelines on credit extension".
Make sense? If not it's understandable because you probably don't know which COE I'm using!
Sometimes we can see a stingy man who is spends so little on food but is willing to spend lavishly on their kids. Some treat others including strangers much better than they treat their own family members. Some are willing to donate thousands of dollars for charity but refuse to lend money to their desperate younger brother. All these examples are common and most of them may look stupid and inconsistent from our eyes.
All the time, our minds function by receiving specific events, interprets some meanings out of it, categorizes which group that meaning belongs to and make a decision. It looks exactly like what the other illogical guy is doing. But if our mind can tap into the other guy's mind, we will see that one important step is missing and that is, after categorizing the meaning, the mind will pick the right codes of ethics BEFORE making a decision on the next step. Actually we do the same, only that we are not aware of it.
So, the key point is that everyone draws out codes of ethics (COE) that suit to the situation. That explains why some things may look inconsistent in our eyes but to the other guy, it makes perfect sense.
Let's review the examples I have stated above and which COE I think they are using:
1. A stingy man is willing to spend so little on food but spends lavishly on their kids is using "I work for my family, not for myself".
2. Some treat others including strangers much better than they treat their own family members because they are probably using 'customer service'to treat strangers hence the good treatment.
3. Some are willing to donate thousands of dollars for charity but refuse to lend money to their younger brother. They could be using "Charity brings me more good returns" but for lending money, unfortunately they use another COE called "guidelines on credit extension".
Make sense? If not it's understandable because you probably don't know which COE I'm using!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Art of War by Sun Zi (孙子)
Recently, I have re-studied the art of war developed by Sun Zi thousand of years ago. I find new truths in the truths I have discovered earlier and am compelled to share it with you. As usual, the sharing doesn't make me lose anything but only a deeper understanding of what have been understood earlier.
I am not commenting on the whole 13 chapters but the important insights I have derived from these chapters. I have also included some Chinese text in its original form to make it more authentic and also for cross reference in case you want to read further by yourself.
1. Quantitative advantage. More is always stronger than less (故用兵之法，十則圍之，五則攻之，倍則分之，敵則能戰之，少則能 逃之，不若則能避之。故小敵之堅，大敵之擒也) - in a war, the advantages of having more people in a war outweigh the opponent with fewer people.However, this quantitative advantage is only applicable during the battle engagement i.e. if you have 10 people and your opponent has 5, but you only send 2 while your opponent sends 5, it's your opponent that has the quantitative advantage and not you. Have you seen how a big size guy tears a telephone directory in a circus? Actually he is tearing the phonebook bit by bit and not all at once. By doing so, he has quantitative advantage over the phone book.
2.In any battles, it is not advisable to drag the duration of the battle (故兵貴勝，不貴久) - waging a war takes a lot of resources. So, if it drags, your quantitative advantage will be affected.
3.We can only know how to win but cannot realize it until your opponent gives you the opportunity (故曰：勝可知 ，而不可為) - it's just like a badminton or tennis game. We cannot plan our attack and defence plans way in advance. It is during the game that your opponents open up new opportunities due to their weakness and you convert those opportunities into success.
4.Choose your battle (是故勝兵先勝而後求戰，敗兵先戰而後求勝) - according to the Chinese original text, those great generals know they can win, that's why they fight while the inexperienced generals fight first and then try to win. In our normal life, there are so many wars we can wage such as animal rights, politics, public safety, office politics...the challenges are countless but our resources are limited. What can we do? We choose our battles that ensure we can win.
5.Just a simple attack and defense sequence can create an infinite combination (聲不過五，五聲之變， 不可勝聽也) - in the Chinese text, there are only 5 music notes but with it, an infinite combination of sounds to form music. I think it's self-explanatory.
6. In a battle, the formation is more important than the individual's strength (故善戰者，求之于勢，不責于人) - this is to say that teamwork is more important and stronger than individual's capability.
7.For your team to die for you, you must first capture their heart (卒未親附而罰之，則不服，不服則難用也) - if you try to punish your team members before you capture their hearts, it will be hard to get their cooperation.
8.If your team is too close to you, punishment becomes useless and hence hard to use such people(卒已親附而罰不行，則不 可用也) - this is the opposite of point 7. No matter how close we are with our team, it must be clear that they still respect us as their leaders and not buddies
Heavy stuff? Probably. That's why I split into 2 parts....coming soon!
I am not commenting on the whole 13 chapters but the important insights I have derived from these chapters. I have also included some Chinese text in its original form to make it more authentic and also for cross reference in case you want to read further by yourself.
1. Quantitative advantage. More is always stronger than less (故用兵之法，十則圍之，五則攻之，倍則分之，敵則能戰之，少則能 逃之，不若則能避之。故小敵之堅，大敵之擒也) - in a war, the advantages of having more people in a war outweigh the opponent with fewer people.However, this quantitative advantage is only applicable during the battle engagement i.e. if you have 10 people and your opponent has 5, but you only send 2 while your opponent sends 5, it's your opponent that has the quantitative advantage and not you. Have you seen how a big size guy tears a telephone directory in a circus? Actually he is tearing the phonebook bit by bit and not all at once. By doing so, he has quantitative advantage over the phone book.
2.In any battles, it is not advisable to drag the duration of the battle (故兵貴勝，不貴久) - waging a war takes a lot of resources. So, if it drags, your quantitative advantage will be affected.
3.We can only know how to win but cannot realize it until your opponent gives you the opportunity (故曰：勝可知 ，而不可為) - it's just like a badminton or tennis game. We cannot plan our attack and defence plans way in advance. It is during the game that your opponents open up new opportunities due to their weakness and you convert those opportunities into success.
4.Choose your battle (是故勝兵先勝而後求戰，敗兵先戰而後求勝) - according to the Chinese original text, those great generals know they can win, that's why they fight while the inexperienced generals fight first and then try to win. In our normal life, there are so many wars we can wage such as animal rights, politics, public safety, office politics...the challenges are countless but our resources are limited. What can we do? We choose our battles that ensure we can win.
5.Just a simple attack and defense sequence can create an infinite combination (聲不過五，五聲之變， 不可勝聽也) - in the Chinese text, there are only 5 music notes but with it, an infinite combination of sounds to form music. I think it's self-explanatory.
6. In a battle, the formation is more important than the individual's strength (故善戰者，求之于勢，不責于人) - this is to say that teamwork is more important and stronger than individual's capability.
7.For your team to die for you, you must first capture their heart (卒未親附而罰之，則不服，不服則難用也) - if you try to punish your team members before you capture their hearts, it will be hard to get their cooperation.
8.If your team is too close to you, punishment becomes useless and hence hard to use such people(卒已親附而罰不行，則不 可用也) - this is the opposite of point 7. No matter how close we are with our team, it must be clear that they still respect us as their leaders and not buddies
Heavy stuff? Probably. That's why I split into 2 parts....coming soon!
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Winning makes us feel more confident, losing makes us wiser
There are times that we don’t enjoy certain conversations, not because the subject is uninteresting but because my chat member challenges me too much. Naturally, we enjoy conversations where at the end it, we manage to impress our viewpoint and feel more right after that. But on the hind sight, such ‘successful conversation’ doesn’t make us better. We gain more confidence no doubt, but we don’t expand our horizon.
On the contrary, when we are challenged by our friends, when they challenge the very sacred truth we hold, it is actually a true test of our conviction.
If we are thinking of how to improve ourselves, this is it. In such a situation, we need to use up all that we know, all that we understand to defend our position. Through it all, we either reinforce our belief or we expand our understanding. Whichever the case, we benefit although during the conversation, it is an agony.
If we take a step back, ask ourselves why are we so agitated when our belief is challenged or questioned. If we have so much conviction, what can change that belief and hence why the agitation when we are questioned? In my opinion, it's because of the fear of the unknown. "What happens if he is right?", "How can I be wrong when I experienced it myself?" Simply put, we are worried subconsciously that if this sacred cow is shattered, then we may be lost or we may need to re-engineer the truth from the scratch. We will have sleepless nights, we will try to salvage that past truth, we will...naturally, the mind will say 'defend yourself from the challenge', 'avoid this trouble-maker'...
Do you have such friends that don’t hesitate to challenge you? Don’t sack all of them as they do play a role.
On the contrary, when we are challenged by our friends, when they challenge the very sacred truth we hold, it is actually a true test of our conviction.
If we are thinking of how to improve ourselves, this is it. In such a situation, we need to use up all that we know, all that we understand to defend our position. Through it all, we either reinforce our belief or we expand our understanding. Whichever the case, we benefit although during the conversation, it is an agony.
If we take a step back, ask ourselves why are we so agitated when our belief is challenged or questioned. If we have so much conviction, what can change that belief and hence why the agitation when we are questioned? In my opinion, it's because of the fear of the unknown. "What happens if he is right?", "How can I be wrong when I experienced it myself?" Simply put, we are worried subconsciously that if this sacred cow is shattered, then we may be lost or we may need to re-engineer the truth from the scratch. We will have sleepless nights, we will try to salvage that past truth, we will...naturally, the mind will say 'defend yourself from the challenge', 'avoid this trouble-maker'...
Do you have such friends that don’t hesitate to challenge you? Don’t sack all of them as they do play a role.
Friday, April 16, 2010
How many days are there in a week? To some, it's only 2.
Each day, many people are counting their days to the weekends as though they are born for weekends and the rest (weekdays) are merely part of the process. If we were to only 'live' when the weekend arrives, we only use 29% of our lives. Or in a more negative way, we fail to live in 71% of our lives. Ain't that sad? For a terminally ill person, every extra day is a bonus and here we are, criticizing it, treating the week days with no respect.
If we hate what we do so much during the weekdays, why do we still continue doing? Why don't we just stop what we hate doing and move on to something we like? Why don't we create an escape plan that can help us get out? Is it really the environment that forces us to continue doing what we hate, or is it just a case of plain cowardice of not having the guts to face a new world?
I have the chance to talk to a foreign worker recently. After knowing him for about 6months by now, I find his thinking is much more advanced than a lot of the lucky people in Malaysia who prefer to label themselves as 'some poor guys trapped in the rat race'. This foreign worker has a clear escape plan. He knows exactly how long he wants to stay in this country, how hard he needs to work, how much money he needs to earn and save and what he wants to do when he goes back to his home country. If he is caught by the police for illegal staying, he knows it's still worth the risk. If he has to wake up at 4 am to work, he knows it's part of the master plan. To him, everything is clear even if he doesn't know what the next odd job is coming up next week. Such is the power and vision of an unskilled laborer. As uneducated as he is, it is not an excuse for not being able to plan his escape route. The only thing he has is 'carpe diem' - seizing the day.
'Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it's called Present' - taught to me by my son when he was 9 years old.
If we hate what we do so much during the weekdays, why do we still continue doing? Why don't we just stop what we hate doing and move on to something we like? Why don't we create an escape plan that can help us get out? Is it really the environment that forces us to continue doing what we hate, or is it just a case of plain cowardice of not having the guts to face a new world?
I have the chance to talk to a foreign worker recently. After knowing him for about 6months by now, I find his thinking is much more advanced than a lot of the lucky people in Malaysia who prefer to label themselves as 'some poor guys trapped in the rat race'. This foreign worker has a clear escape plan. He knows exactly how long he wants to stay in this country, how hard he needs to work, how much money he needs to earn and save and what he wants to do when he goes back to his home country. If he is caught by the police for illegal staying, he knows it's still worth the risk. If he has to wake up at 4 am to work, he knows it's part of the master plan. To him, everything is clear even if he doesn't know what the next odd job is coming up next week. Such is the power and vision of an unskilled laborer. As uneducated as he is, it is not an excuse for not being able to plan his escape route. The only thing he has is 'carpe diem' - seizing the day.
'Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it's called Present' - taught to me by my son when he was 9 years old.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Escape clause and escape route
When I was still working for Gillette, I have been trained that for every contract there must be an escape clause. This is to ensure that for any unforeseen circumstances where both parties have to separate, there is always a ready platform for discussion. Since then, there is always escape clause in everything I do, no matter how sweet the deal could be. So far so good.
Now, that was work I'm talking about. But what about life? A contract where there is no resignation because any resignation simply means death. So, if life is a contract, what do we do? Do we have an escape clause and do we have an escape route?
The activities that we do in life should have an escape clause in my opinion. For example, for career, this is the job I am willing to do for this price and in the event I want to terminate this job, this or that will happen in my life. We should know the cost of parting way. We also need to have an escape route, something that we plan to escape from the things we don't like.
Take stock of your life's main activities. What are the 3 important things that you are doing in your life? Job, marriage and health may be? If one day you don't feel like doing it any more, is there an escape clause? If of the 3 important things you are doing and 1 sucks, do you have an escape route or plan? Difficult? Definitely. But again, if a prisoner can escape from the most tightly guarded prison called Alcatraz, everything else is possible. If you need inspiration, go check out some old movies I find useful such as Escape from Alcatraz (Clint Eastwood), Shawshank redemption (Morgan Freedman), Great Escape (Pele), you start to realize David Copperfield only makes things disappear in front of your eyes, but these guys make themselves disappear forever.
Some food for thoughts:
'I don't mind today ends up lousy. I do mind tomorrow ending up like today'
Escaping now to a better-than-writing activity called dreamland, I wish you all the best in your great escape.
Now, that was work I'm talking about. But what about life? A contract where there is no resignation because any resignation simply means death. So, if life is a contract, what do we do? Do we have an escape clause and do we have an escape route?
The activities that we do in life should have an escape clause in my opinion. For example, for career, this is the job I am willing to do for this price and in the event I want to terminate this job, this or that will happen in my life. We should know the cost of parting way. We also need to have an escape route, something that we plan to escape from the things we don't like.
Take stock of your life's main activities. What are the 3 important things that you are doing in your life? Job, marriage and health may be? If one day you don't feel like doing it any more, is there an escape clause? If of the 3 important things you are doing and 1 sucks, do you have an escape route or plan? Difficult? Definitely. But again, if a prisoner can escape from the most tightly guarded prison called Alcatraz, everything else is possible. If you need inspiration, go check out some old movies I find useful such as Escape from Alcatraz (Clint Eastwood), Shawshank redemption (Morgan Freedman), Great Escape (Pele), you start to realize David Copperfield only makes things disappear in front of your eyes, but these guys make themselves disappear forever.
Some food for thoughts:
'I don't mind today ends up lousy. I do mind tomorrow ending up like today'
Escaping now to a better-than-writing activity called dreamland, I wish you all the best in your great escape.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Password to your subconscious mind - 'ICDIAAA'
"Yes, you can do it"
"Do your best and let God do the rest"
"This tiger year will be good for you if you wear red"
"I don't believe in superstition, self reliance is what that works"
"Based on the law of attraction..."
"There is a miracle when you believe"
Some guys will swear that feng shui (geomancy) works, some will tell you how one event becomes the turning point of their life, some will swear that it's confidence that bring them success, some believe in perseverance, some pray hard, others pray harder...We believe that there should be only one truth but yet this truth can come in many versions :) Truth seems to be always true to those who choose to believe in it. If the rest don't believe in it, that's because they have yet to understand the truth. Well, I leave this point alone since my discussion here is more on subconscious mind.
If you observe all the quotes I have listed above, those are really words targeted to ourselves. But are they really talking to us? Or are the words meant for our subconscious brother? (see stranger in the attic for reference) As I explore subconscious mind recently, I have a strong hunch that these words are not meant for us (at least not to the conscious me) but for our subconscious mind.
It's a bit like the placebo effect where patients are given medicine which in actual fact are merely sugar pills but the patient improves his health due to strong conviction or more specifically conviction by the naive and gullible subconscious mind.
As scientists will attest, we only use 10% of our brain. The rest is basically not used or perhaps the rest is latent power in the subconscious side that have yet to be discovered with the right password. The passwords come in many forms such as feng shui, confidence, NLP, specific words that you tell yourself, memory of a person, aspiration...So, observe next time when you have a busy day ahead -what peculiar thing do you observe eg. special words you mumble to yourself, special drinks you take, special clothes you wear..those when work are the passwords to your subconscious mind.
To end, the password 'ICDIAAA' is 'I can do it again and again'
"Do your best and let God do the rest"
"This tiger year will be good for you if you wear red"
"I don't believe in superstition, self reliance is what that works"
"Based on the law of attraction..."
"There is a miracle when you believe"
Some guys will swear that feng shui (geomancy) works, some will tell you how one event becomes the turning point of their life, some will swear that it's confidence that bring them success, some believe in perseverance, some pray hard, others pray harder...We believe that there should be only one truth but yet this truth can come in many versions :) Truth seems to be always true to those who choose to believe in it. If the rest don't believe in it, that's because they have yet to understand the truth. Well, I leave this point alone since my discussion here is more on subconscious mind.
If you observe all the quotes I have listed above, those are really words targeted to ourselves. But are they really talking to us? Or are the words meant for our subconscious brother? (see stranger in the attic for reference) As I explore subconscious mind recently, I have a strong hunch that these words are not meant for us (at least not to the conscious me) but for our subconscious mind.
It's a bit like the placebo effect where patients are given medicine which in actual fact are merely sugar pills but the patient improves his health due to strong conviction or more specifically conviction by the naive and gullible subconscious mind.
As scientists will attest, we only use 10% of our brain. The rest is basically not used or perhaps the rest is latent power in the subconscious side that have yet to be discovered with the right password. The passwords come in many forms such as feng shui, confidence, NLP, specific words that you tell yourself, memory of a person, aspiration...So, observe next time when you have a busy day ahead -what peculiar thing do you observe eg. special words you mumble to yourself, special drinks you take, special clothes you wear..those when work are the passwords to your subconscious mind.
To end, the password 'ICDIAAA' is 'I can do it again and again'
Monday, February 15, 2010
Stranger in the attic
Recently, I spent time in understanding consciously the workings of the subconscious mind. While I’m still new at it (assuming my brainpower is hopeless), there are a few interesting discoveries. While these discoveries may not win Nobel prizes nor make me walk on water, it helps a great deal in explaining the linkage between the conscious and the subconscious mind, or I prefer to call it the interactions between the management and the operation departments.
Overall, the mind is divided into the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious comprises the things we want to do consciously while subconscious takes care of the involuntary activities such as heart beating, breathing, digesting and other trained skills such as cycling or driving.
The conscious brother is the ‘I’ that we know ourselves very well. The ‘I’ that thinks, plans and wishes. This is the brother that does all the thinking. It’s the one that is talking to our spouses and friends every day. It’s the one that is employed by companies, the one that everyone knows as us. However, the brain is born as a pair of twins.
We have a twin brother besides the one that we know. This twin brother is quiet, hardworking, disciplined, and gullible and always looks up to his brother for aspiration and instructions. While this good twin brother is not a great leader, he has a lot of strengths and qualities that the conscious brother cannot do. This subconscious brother doesn’t need rest, knows all the technical stuff in the body way better than the scientific knowledge combined in the world, is constantly in charge of cell production, and can even connect with the unseen force of the universe for ‘celestial’ or ‘divine’ help or solutions.
He does have one weakness inherent to his strength – he trusts the conscious brother too much to the point that he takes his conscious brother’s messages and instructions literally –word by word; letter by letter.
So, we have a perfect pair of twin brothers. The conscious one is smart, extrovert, active, full of passion, have infinite needs but has low stamina, doesn’t know much about the workings of the body and doesn’t know how to communicate with divine forces. The subconscious brother works tirelessly, knows a lot of technical knowledge has his divine networking and takes instructions very well. However, he is very gullible and trusts his twin brother too much without questioning.
Since the conscious brother is doing all the thinking, hence the relationship between the twins if turns sour must be due to the conscious brother since the subconscious brother is only at the receiving end. What sorts of problems arises form these relationships? It is very much like a lousy boss that gives conflict instructions, breathing down the next of his staff, lacks technical knowledge but still wants to meddle, and worse still, de-motivates his team.
Now that we know we have this biological twin brother that co-exists with us, it’s time we treat him well so that he can work well for us and by that, work well for both of us. Howe can we be a good brother and treat our non-evil twin brother well? Just follow the golden rules below:
1. Tell him what you want but don’t tell him how. Let him handle the operation part because he knows the best and you don’t
2. Having confidence in you simply means have confidence in your subconscious brother. Just tell him what you want and shut up. Don’t advice him and worse still, instil doubts in him.
For example: Just say ‘I want to remember all these words’ instead of ‘I must try to remember’; ‘at least remember 60% of these words’; ‘I must not forget’ – you are just confusing your own subconscious brother
Simply put, you do your best and let your twin brother do the rest. Whether you like it or not, the guy has been living up there since you were born. Why not make friends?
Overall, the mind is divided into the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious comprises the things we want to do consciously while subconscious takes care of the involuntary activities such as heart beating, breathing, digesting and other trained skills such as cycling or driving.
The conscious brother is the ‘I’ that we know ourselves very well. The ‘I’ that thinks, plans and wishes. This is the brother that does all the thinking. It’s the one that is talking to our spouses and friends every day. It’s the one that is employed by companies, the one that everyone knows as us. However, the brain is born as a pair of twins.
We have a twin brother besides the one that we know. This twin brother is quiet, hardworking, disciplined, and gullible and always looks up to his brother for aspiration and instructions. While this good twin brother is not a great leader, he has a lot of strengths and qualities that the conscious brother cannot do. This subconscious brother doesn’t need rest, knows all the technical stuff in the body way better than the scientific knowledge combined in the world, is constantly in charge of cell production, and can even connect with the unseen force of the universe for ‘celestial’ or ‘divine’ help or solutions.
He does have one weakness inherent to his strength – he trusts the conscious brother too much to the point that he takes his conscious brother’s messages and instructions literally –word by word; letter by letter.
So, we have a perfect pair of twin brothers. The conscious one is smart, extrovert, active, full of passion, have infinite needs but has low stamina, doesn’t know much about the workings of the body and doesn’t know how to communicate with divine forces. The subconscious brother works tirelessly, knows a lot of technical knowledge has his divine networking and takes instructions very well. However, he is very gullible and trusts his twin brother too much without questioning.
Since the conscious brother is doing all the thinking, hence the relationship between the twins if turns sour must be due to the conscious brother since the subconscious brother is only at the receiving end. What sorts of problems arises form these relationships? It is very much like a lousy boss that gives conflict instructions, breathing down the next of his staff, lacks technical knowledge but still wants to meddle, and worse still, de-motivates his team.
Now that we know we have this biological twin brother that co-exists with us, it’s time we treat him well so that he can work well for us and by that, work well for both of us. Howe can we be a good brother and treat our non-evil twin brother well? Just follow the golden rules below:
1. Tell him what you want but don’t tell him how. Let him handle the operation part because he knows the best and you don’t
2. Having confidence in you simply means have confidence in your subconscious brother. Just tell him what you want and shut up. Don’t advice him and worse still, instil doubts in him.
For example: Just say ‘I want to remember all these words’ instead of ‘I must try to remember’; ‘at least remember 60% of these words’; ‘I must not forget’ – you are just confusing your own subconscious brother
Simply put, you do your best and let your twin brother do the rest. Whether you like it or not, the guy has been living up there since you were born. Why not make friends?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Why some guys have all the luck?
If you ever wonder why some guys have all the luck while others don't, it could be more than just fate, karma, god testing your will power...don't neglect one more factor ie OURSELVES
For an incident to happen, we know it depends on the conditions causing it. But these conditions can be easily divided into 2 types : external and internal. External factors are those that you may have some form of influence or may be totally out of your control. Examples are weather, your boss, money, timing, karma...For internal conditions, there is just you and your attitude, and your stubbornness, your positive energy ie all that can be controlled by us.
If you review some of the small events that take place every day, you need to check whether the incident (or your wish) could not come true because of external factors or it is merely internal. One simple example: A female friend wants to go swimming. That's easy. But she doesn't like to go alone so she gets 2 friends to join her. But her 2 friends have menstrual cycle at different time of the month and they refuse to go swimming during this time. Now, initially it looks easy because she just has to pack her bag and go swimming. Just because she needs friends to do so, the success rate drops because the moment one of her friends doesn't go with her, she won't. Because it is not merely depending on the schedule of her friends but also also the menstrual cycle, the success rate drops even further. Now, if she doesn't improve her swimming or she feels frustrated because of not being able to swim, is it really karma? will power test? weather? or just plainly the conditions she has set?
Many will agree that life is short and we want to play hard. But if you set too many conditions for something to happen, it may not happen at all and we miss so many opportunities just because of the conditions we set. Worse still, we blame other people or external factors when we are the only stumbling block here?
So next time when you feel that you are unlucky, could you be the one that turns off the doorbell when luck knocks on your door?
For an incident to happen, we know it depends on the conditions causing it. But these conditions can be easily divided into 2 types : external and internal. External factors are those that you may have some form of influence or may be totally out of your control. Examples are weather, your boss, money, timing, karma...For internal conditions, there is just you and your attitude, and your stubbornness, your positive energy ie all that can be controlled by us.
If you review some of the small events that take place every day, you need to check whether the incident (or your wish) could not come true because of external factors or it is merely internal. One simple example: A female friend wants to go swimming. That's easy. But she doesn't like to go alone so she gets 2 friends to join her. But her 2 friends have menstrual cycle at different time of the month and they refuse to go swimming during this time. Now, initially it looks easy because she just has to pack her bag and go swimming. Just because she needs friends to do so, the success rate drops because the moment one of her friends doesn't go with her, she won't. Because it is not merely depending on the schedule of her friends but also also the menstrual cycle, the success rate drops even further. Now, if she doesn't improve her swimming or she feels frustrated because of not being able to swim, is it really karma? will power test? weather? or just plainly the conditions she has set?
Many will agree that life is short and we want to play hard. But if you set too many conditions for something to happen, it may not happen at all and we miss so many opportunities just because of the conditions we set. Worse still, we blame other people or external factors when we are the only stumbling block here?
So next time when you feel that you are unlucky, could you be the one that turns off the doorbell when luck knocks on your door?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Just close it
In today's working environment, everyone needs to interface with another colleague or another department especially in a matrix organization which you don’t even know how many bosses you actually have unofficially. The problem is that with the advancement of technology, everything becomes faster but problems arrive at your knowledge faster than the solutions. Each problem, with the ideas of many people, have now multiple options of solving it, going around it, overcoming it and sometimes even postponing it.
If we are not careful, options will multiply by themselves and worse, each option will multiply into many sub-options and in less than days, you will have a web of possible solutions. Then each solution or sub-solution requires some form of effort to solve and that effort creates another set of conditions and solutions (refer to ‘Solving Solutions’ if you want more details). Suddenly, your world turns into a swampy mangrove in an Amazon jungle and you wade through the muddy water underneath and the thick bushes in front and above!!
For those who can say ‘well, I can let go my work during weekend, so it is not affecting me’, unfortunately you are not spared in your personal life too. All matters, if not careful, can create a web of options by itself if we leave it unattended.
So, the key to all this is to weed the unnecessary options at a very early stage so that it doesn’t turn into a jungle. That is why each matter MUST have a CLOSURE. As you close one option, you close with it all its sub-options and complications and what you see finally is a well-kept garden instead of a snake farm ( I call it snake farm when a person’s garden looks like an idle land with weeds and usually you will find snakes lurking)
There are many things we can close as fast as it opens but we don’t. Why? Maybe because we are greedy, trying to see if some better news will pop out. Often than not, it is because we have a fear of making the decision now subconsciously influenced by the scary part of ‘what if’. If I decide to buy the laptop here and now, what if another place sells it at an even better deal? We don’t notice that when we decide to ‘wait’, we could be spending 3 weekends trying to look for the best deal, only to realize that each laptop model has its unique features and suddenly your garden of options turns into a snake farm. Imagine if you have decided on the model, at least now it is a matter of 3 stores with the lowest price and you grab.
So, if you have a tendency of leaving multiple files open on your computer while working on a project, or those that have a long to do list, most likely you are not closing fast enough. Instead of making your to do list, why not make a ‘to close list’. What are the things you want to close today?
When I was young, my mother always cooked dinner at about 5.30pm and we would have finished dinner by 6pm. I asked her why that early and she gave a simple answer, "the earlier you eat, the earlier you are free". It makes sense because if we don’t have a closure for the dinner, you will then need to re-organize all your activities around it and that creates another set of options.
In short, just close it!
If we are not careful, options will multiply by themselves and worse, each option will multiply into many sub-options and in less than days, you will have a web of possible solutions. Then each solution or sub-solution requires some form of effort to solve and that effort creates another set of conditions and solutions (refer to ‘Solving Solutions’ if you want more details). Suddenly, your world turns into a swampy mangrove in an Amazon jungle and you wade through the muddy water underneath and the thick bushes in front and above!!
For those who can say ‘well, I can let go my work during weekend, so it is not affecting me’, unfortunately you are not spared in your personal life too. All matters, if not careful, can create a web of options by itself if we leave it unattended.
So, the key to all this is to weed the unnecessary options at a very early stage so that it doesn’t turn into a jungle. That is why each matter MUST have a CLOSURE. As you close one option, you close with it all its sub-options and complications and what you see finally is a well-kept garden instead of a snake farm ( I call it snake farm when a person’s garden looks like an idle land with weeds and usually you will find snakes lurking)
There are many things we can close as fast as it opens but we don’t. Why? Maybe because we are greedy, trying to see if some better news will pop out. Often than not, it is because we have a fear of making the decision now subconsciously influenced by the scary part of ‘what if’. If I decide to buy the laptop here and now, what if another place sells it at an even better deal? We don’t notice that when we decide to ‘wait’, we could be spending 3 weekends trying to look for the best deal, only to realize that each laptop model has its unique features and suddenly your garden of options turns into a snake farm. Imagine if you have decided on the model, at least now it is a matter of 3 stores with the lowest price and you grab.
So, if you have a tendency of leaving multiple files open on your computer while working on a project, or those that have a long to do list, most likely you are not closing fast enough. Instead of making your to do list, why not make a ‘to close list’. What are the things you want to close today?
When I was young, my mother always cooked dinner at about 5.30pm and we would have finished dinner by 6pm. I asked her why that early and she gave a simple answer, "the earlier you eat, the earlier you are free". It makes sense because if we don’t have a closure for the dinner, you will then need to re-organize all your activities around it and that creates another set of options.
In short, just close it!
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