In a job interview, the one that controls the conversation is not the person who talks the most but the person who asks the most. By asking questions, the interviewer is able to direct the candidate’s energy to focus on areas that the interviewer wants to know.
Here, I’m not showing how to impress in an interview but trying to discuss how by asking the right questions, you can maneuver energy to the right direction. Yes, just by asking the correct questions. So it is not wrong to say that ‘if you ask stupid questions, you get stupid answers’ or more aptly in this topic, ‘if you ask stupid questions, you take stupid actions’
In an earlier blog, I briefly touched on ‘the power of asking the right questions’. There are many who are concerned that the economy bubble may burst in 2007. If we ask ‘since it burst in 87 and 97, and shouldn’t it burst in 2007?’ then the mind will answer either ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’. That’s because we have asked a close-ended question. If we ask ‘what shall we do if the economy burst in 2007?’ then the mind will try to list down the precaution steps to take. That’s because we tell the mind that the economy will burst and ask the mind to list down steps to take.
If we ask ‘if the economy will burst in 2007, how can I still be rich?’, then the mind now has to do a bit more work. The mind may tell you property is down and we can buy at lower price, the share market is down and probably it’s time to go in….If we then ask further, ‘which countries should we put our investment?’ Now the mind will think beyond the local country and look for alternatives in neighboring countries.
Isn’t it interesting how the smart-but-stupid mind works? Smart because it can provide many great answers. Stupid because if you do not ask correctly, it will not produce good results!
As a new practice, I suggest you now use questions as a starting point for your timely 2007 resolution. Don’t ask what you want to achieve in 2007. You probably have done that for many years and your resolution is still as good as new. Ask what state you want to be in 2007. If you’re bogged down by work, ‘don’t ask how can I free up my time’ that’s too mundane. You can either go one level up (i.e. something more holistic or nobler) or set more conditions in your questions.
Some example: How can I spend 3 days in my hobby per week despite my current work load? How can I work for less but still increase my pay by 30%? It may sound impossible at first. Have faith in your mind. It will produce some interesting results.
May 2007 be a great year!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Self praise is no praise, but self blame is true blame
You and I have occasions where your friends talk about their predicament over a cup of coffee. After a long discussion, there appears to be no solution because whatever you suggest was quickly turned down by this friend with double the reasons. All reasons seem to be valid and hence, you felt it was better to keep quiet. Then, you guys hug each other and bid farewell and here goes another 'unsolved mystery'.
Going through some of these 'unsolved mysteries', I realize that there appears to be a very common trait. While in training, I learnt a technique that was usually able to smoke out the real reason. It's called the 5 whys. No, don't get it wrong that it is the typical where, what, when...It's much simpler than that. It is 5 whys. Yes, it is why, why, why, why why.
The technique simply suggests that you must ask the reason for an outcome and each time you have the reason, ask why again until you reach the 5th reason. By then, that is most probably the true reason. So, applying this 5Y technique to the predicament of my friends, it seems that all at the end of the day point out to 2 things. The 4th why is usually the 'fear of the unknown'. The 5th : ‘fear of blaming oneself'.
Fear of the unknown is bad. It's is even scarier than the scariest movie. It's another type of horror. Not those that give you nightmare, but horror that sabotages your system and make you fail to think logically. Each time you hit this level, your mind will shut down and tell you that 'do not go beyond this level'. How do you know you have hit this level? Simple. Just imagine that your spouse will leave you one day. What's the next reaction? If it is, 'I will commit suicide' then bingo...you know it.
See how simple the mind turns illogical and irrational suddenly? The reason why someone goes suicidal is because is they have no courage to see beyond that. They can't even tell themselves that 'ok, let me try to live for 1 month and if it's no good, I'll review my life'. Nah, never logical.
Many never dare to think of changing their job because of this fear. Many don't think of changing girlfriends because of this fear. Hence, the fear of the unknown is so powerful that it disallows you to THINK beyond that situation. And because you dare not think, hence there's no action.
The 5th element is ultimate. The fear of self blame. While the 4th tries to jam your system to think logically, the 5th element even stops those who manage to think logically. Self blame has been the mother of all change failures. It is so subconscious that we could have been doing it for years but still do not realize it.
Here are many examples:
- How many times you have told yourself that when you have tried your best, it's ok if it doesn't work out. In other words, you don't have to blame yourself.
- When you have locked all your doors and still it's broken into, that's God's will. In other words, don't blame yourself. You put your money in fixed deposit rather than into some other investments. The reason is that it is more conservative and safer even though you know that it may not be enough for you when you retire. The true reason: you don't want to blame yourself in case you lose your money in other investment.
- Some people consult mentors, ex-colleagues and even mediums before they change jobs or get into a new business venture. Why? Due to collective wisdom, the decision to change seems to be the right reason. If it doesn't work well, then no one is to blame because everyone thinks it’s right.
The ultimate test is to ask ourselves, what is so wrong in taking responsibilities? What's so wrong in blaming ourselves? Why not just apologize to yourself and move on. I know straight away, someone may protest that if they do blame themselves, they will never be able to come back to their normal self again. Sound familiar? It is the 4th why in action. Fear of the unknown. But do be aware that there are people who have a habit of ‘blaming themselves’. That is another category I call ‘it has to be painful to be meaningful’. See my earlier blogs for details.
Back to self blame, there's this joke which demonstrates how we could have handled a situation without much effort but yet it’s so difficult. In America, when someone farts, they say excuse me. In England, when someone farts, they say pardon me. In Malaysia, when someone farts, what do they say? NOT ME!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Retiring or tiring?
What's the same? Both can be tiring. But, one give you less tiring future while the other sucks your energy away.
When I was still under employment, I made a point that I must continue with my personal development amidst my busy schedule demanded by my job. While that was a right thing to do in my opinion, I did not realize that I have overlooked one more important aspect - personal wealth. The recent event of me not under employment opens up my mind on the importance of personal wealth. There's this book that I have been reading that manage to throw some light and challenges into my own retirement plan.
Here are the questions that may make us think again about our retirement plan.
1. Well, to start with, do we plan to save sufficient money by certain age & then stop working and slowly chew this retirement fund? If this is the case, we are planning to be poor. Why not we make sure this fund is big enough to take care of itself and because of that it gives us money every day so that you can retire?
2. Some of us save our money in mutual funds and are assured by financial advisors that the fund value is projected to double in 10 years time. Ask ourselves one honest question, how much control do we really have over this growth? None actually except that we can sell or buy. Don't we think it's risky to leave our savings in the hand of market forces & all we can do is buy, hold & pray?
3. For those who applaud point 2 & proudly claim that 'that's why I put my money in fixed deposit!', think again too. We work hard to earn our money. But then when we have the money, we let our money sort off 'retire' in FD instead of making the money work harder for us. Who's the master here? You or your money? By the way, how many of our earlier generation saves & saves for retirement and until today, still looks a bit screwed up financially or are still leading a mediocre life?
Well, if everything seems to be lousy, tell me what to do, einstein??!! The key word here is 'leverage'. Leverage in physics simply demonstrates how you can use less effort to lift a heavy object if you can find yourself a stone and a long pole. The longer the pole, the more the leverage.
Step #1
Hence, the first step is to understand our own leverage in our own environment. For a person which has more spare time. time naturally becomes the leverage. For those in IT, knowledge will be the leverage. For those who want to pursue training and consultancy at a younger age, age and energy become the leverage. Some guys know more people than others. That's a leveragable network. Like a kungfu master which can transform everything around him as weapon, we too can look around us and develop something as a leverage.
Step #2
However, leverage only provides us the 'machine' but without the manual and the key, we don't know how to operate this machine to make money. So, come along with leverage is another key word called 'context'. Context is something like a pail that keeps our contents (reality). If we do not expand the pail, we could not expand our own world. When we expand our context, we actually trying to learn more about a subject and our reality naturally expands in this subject. Remember that what we think is real becomes our reality. If you think earning a million a year is real, that becomes a reality to you. If you think investment is risky, that becomes your reality too. But how do we expand our context?
Step #3
You expand your context by asking the right questions. You probably have heard,"ask, and you shall receive". But to expand your context, you must "ask the RIGHT questions and you shall receive the RIGHT answers". A small example that I use quite often nowadays. If you ask, "if the economy is down in '87 and '97, then 2007 shall be a downturn too?". Your mind will answer 'Yes''. Questione is satisfactorily answered but unfortunately context is not expanded at all. If you ask,"what I need to do if 2007 is a down turn?" Your mind will naturally answer "don't spend too much, save for rainy days". Question is satisfactorily answered as well BUT context is stil not expanded.
Now, ask this question,"How can I make more money in 2007 if economy is down?" Your mind will now pause for a while to look for more answers as this question is now more challenging. The answer finally comes, "Save more now. Be prepared to buy better property deals next year" Here, I'm not demonstrating that property is the way to go. But you can see from these questions, the answers are all good answers but vary depending on HOW you ask.
Step #4
Well, if you have the context, the leverage and the way, what's left? Your Plan. How to plan is totally a different subject. But I'm very sure all of us know how to plan. Many times, it is not the plan that fail us but we fail ourselves. So rather than talk about how to plan (which most of us know), I'll keep it simple to a few points why we fail ourselves.
First, it is not painful enough. In other words, the pain of not changing is less painful than the pain of changing. So what happen? We become a 'dragon'. We drag-on. How long ago in the past and for how long in the future are we going to repeat these same bloody words "there's a long holiday coming!" and then not long after that followed by "how nice if the holiday can be longer!" So, think of all the negative elements you have now and instead of using them to kill your holiday mood, use them as dried branches to start a fire to boil your emotion, until it's painful enough for you to change. Once you are at that stage, planning becomes natural.
Second, it is about self-blame. What if I fail? What if people call me stupid? All this will go away if the first point is painful enough. So will be 3rd and 4th if any...
Step #5
However, once you are boiling with passion to change because it's now painful enough, you must see where you are going to and how the end results will make you the happiest person in the world. With this vision, you are then no longer motivated by pain but by pleasure. Imagine this: You don't wait for holidays but you DECLARE your own holiday!
So, what do you do? Check you retirement plan to make sure that it is still a good plan. If there are some concerns or a lot of your plans are based on hope rather than facts, than you need to increase the SPEED of your plan. To increase the speed is to leverage. You will find the right leverage if your leverage can answer this simple question, "How can I do what I do for more people with less work and for a better price?"
Happy leveraging and retiring!!
When I was still under employment, I made a point that I must continue with my personal development amidst my busy schedule demanded by my job. While that was a right thing to do in my opinion, I did not realize that I have overlooked one more important aspect - personal wealth. The recent event of me not under employment opens up my mind on the importance of personal wealth. There's this book that I have been reading that manage to throw some light and challenges into my own retirement plan.
Here are the questions that may make us think again about our retirement plan.
1. Well, to start with, do we plan to save sufficient money by certain age & then stop working and slowly chew this retirement fund? If this is the case, we are planning to be poor. Why not we make sure this fund is big enough to take care of itself and because of that it gives us money every day so that you can retire?
2. Some of us save our money in mutual funds and are assured by financial advisors that the fund value is projected to double in 10 years time. Ask ourselves one honest question, how much control do we really have over this growth? None actually except that we can sell or buy. Don't we think it's risky to leave our savings in the hand of market forces & all we can do is buy, hold & pray?
3. For those who applaud point 2 & proudly claim that 'that's why I put my money in fixed deposit!', think again too. We work hard to earn our money. But then when we have the money, we let our money sort off 'retire' in FD instead of making the money work harder for us. Who's the master here? You or your money? By the way, how many of our earlier generation saves & saves for retirement and until today, still looks a bit screwed up financially or are still leading a mediocre life?
Well, if everything seems to be lousy, tell me what to do, einstein??!! The key word here is 'leverage'. Leverage in physics simply demonstrates how you can use less effort to lift a heavy object if you can find yourself a stone and a long pole. The longer the pole, the more the leverage.
Step #1
Hence, the first step is to understand our own leverage in our own environment. For a person which has more spare time. time naturally becomes the leverage. For those in IT, knowledge will be the leverage. For those who want to pursue training and consultancy at a younger age, age and energy become the leverage. Some guys know more people than others. That's a leveragable network. Like a kungfu master which can transform everything around him as weapon, we too can look around us and develop something as a leverage.
Step #2
However, leverage only provides us the 'machine' but without the manual and the key, we don't know how to operate this machine to make money. So, come along with leverage is another key word called 'context'. Context is something like a pail that keeps our contents (reality). If we do not expand the pail, we could not expand our own world. When we expand our context, we actually trying to learn more about a subject and our reality naturally expands in this subject. Remember that what we think is real becomes our reality. If you think earning a million a year is real, that becomes a reality to you. If you think investment is risky, that becomes your reality too. But how do we expand our context?
Step #3
You expand your context by asking the right questions. You probably have heard,"ask, and you shall receive". But to expand your context, you must "ask the RIGHT questions and you shall receive the RIGHT answers". A small example that I use quite often nowadays. If you ask, "if the economy is down in '87 and '97, then 2007 shall be a downturn too?". Your mind will answer 'Yes''. Questione is satisfactorily answered but unfortunately context is not expanded at all. If you ask,"what I need to do if 2007 is a down turn?" Your mind will naturally answer "don't spend too much, save for rainy days". Question is satisfactorily answered as well BUT context is stil not expanded.
Now, ask this question,"How can I make more money in 2007 if economy is down?" Your mind will now pause for a while to look for more answers as this question is now more challenging. The answer finally comes, "Save more now. Be prepared to buy better property deals next year" Here, I'm not demonstrating that property is the way to go. But you can see from these questions, the answers are all good answers but vary depending on HOW you ask.
Step #4
Well, if you have the context, the leverage and the way, what's left? Your Plan. How to plan is totally a different subject. But I'm very sure all of us know how to plan. Many times, it is not the plan that fail us but we fail ourselves. So rather than talk about how to plan (which most of us know), I'll keep it simple to a few points why we fail ourselves.
First, it is not painful enough. In other words, the pain of not changing is less painful than the pain of changing. So what happen? We become a 'dragon'. We drag-on. How long ago in the past and for how long in the future are we going to repeat these same bloody words "there's a long holiday coming!" and then not long after that followed by "how nice if the holiday can be longer!" So, think of all the negative elements you have now and instead of using them to kill your holiday mood, use them as dried branches to start a fire to boil your emotion, until it's painful enough for you to change. Once you are at that stage, planning becomes natural.
Second, it is about self-blame. What if I fail? What if people call me stupid? All this will go away if the first point is painful enough. So will be 3rd and 4th if any...
Step #5
However, once you are boiling with passion to change because it's now painful enough, you must see where you are going to and how the end results will make you the happiest person in the world. With this vision, you are then no longer motivated by pain but by pleasure. Imagine this: You don't wait for holidays but you DECLARE your own holiday!
So, what do you do? Check you retirement plan to make sure that it is still a good plan. If there are some concerns or a lot of your plans are based on hope rather than facts, than you need to increase the SPEED of your plan. To increase the speed is to leverage. You will find the right leverage if your leverage can answer this simple question, "How can I do what I do for more people with less work and for a better price?"
Happy leveraging and retiring!!
Saturday, September 09, 2006
August of My Life
August appeared to be a very interesting part of my life. I managed to get myself one month of vacation in Toronto anda as I was about to overcome my jetlag there, my cancer friend's sister called up and announced that he passed away. On the day I left Toronto, Rev. Dhamananda, the chief monk of Brickfields Temple in Malaysia, passed away. Perhaps this series of events is what I have been taught all this while - transient are all wordly matters!!?? Anyway, gained some, lost some but life must go on.
I dedicate this blog to Hee Boon, my coursemate, friend, truth seeker and listener of my crazy ideas. May he be well and happy!
Hee Boon was stricken by cancer a year back and as usual, he was a positive persopn and looked at things in a tue 'ehipassiko' spirit i.e. come and see (undersand) There is no dogma but only facts and logic to support all beliefs. He blogged his views and experience and I learnt a lot from it. In fact, the blogging idea for me was inspired by him.
Below is what I have learnt from him which I would like to share with all readers : Make meaning.
Events happen. We can debate that it is happening for a reason, or some prefer to view it as a random process. Whichever the case, that is always partially or totally beyond our control because there are so many factors affecting those events.
HOWEVER, there is one area that is within our control all the time which is how we make meaning out of this event. In other words, our intepretation of that event. Our house could be burglarred. We can inteprete in many ways : stupid country, stupid lock or stupid luck. But we can also think of it as 'well, I just realized my security system is not good enough which I need to improve. And perhaps I should buy insurance to cover for burglary too'. The intepretations with 'a lot of stupid' will usually result in us not doing anything but feeling angry with almost everything. The latter meaning on the other hand, spur us into action. Forget about the past and how to improve.
Hence, for every single event, we can choose to make the meaning we want out of it. No wonder someone told me that 'he chooses happiness'!
An anology to making meaning is how we frame a picture. Try get a picture especially one with many elements in it. Cut a hole in a piece of paper and run this 'frame' through the pictures. You will notice that as we browse, we see a pix within a pix. The picture is just like an event that has happened. Our mind will never capture the whole picture (because it is changing all the time) but when we make meaning, we are capturing the part that we want it to represent the pix. Voila! you have made meaning.
For Hee Boon's berievement, I interprete it as:
'Anything can happen. Treasure what we have now'
'Life is more than work. We must continue to upgrade our understanding on life'
'Use Hee Boon's blogs as examples when talking about learning life'.
For those interested, you can check 'fhbadventure.blogspot.com'.
I dedicate this blog to Hee Boon, my coursemate, friend, truth seeker and listener of my crazy ideas. May he be well and happy!
Hee Boon was stricken by cancer a year back and as usual, he was a positive persopn and looked at things in a tue 'ehipassiko' spirit i.e. come and see (undersand) There is no dogma but only facts and logic to support all beliefs. He blogged his views and experience and I learnt a lot from it. In fact, the blogging idea for me was inspired by him.
Below is what I have learnt from him which I would like to share with all readers : Make meaning.
Events happen. We can debate that it is happening for a reason, or some prefer to view it as a random process. Whichever the case, that is always partially or totally beyond our control because there are so many factors affecting those events.
HOWEVER, there is one area that is within our control all the time which is how we make meaning out of this event. In other words, our intepretation of that event. Our house could be burglarred. We can inteprete in many ways : stupid country, stupid lock or stupid luck. But we can also think of it as 'well, I just realized my security system is not good enough which I need to improve. And perhaps I should buy insurance to cover for burglary too'. The intepretations with 'a lot of stupid' will usually result in us not doing anything but feeling angry with almost everything. The latter meaning on the other hand, spur us into action. Forget about the past and how to improve.
Hence, for every single event, we can choose to make the meaning we want out of it. No wonder someone told me that 'he chooses happiness'!
An anology to making meaning is how we frame a picture. Try get a picture especially one with many elements in it. Cut a hole in a piece of paper and run this 'frame' through the pictures. You will notice that as we browse, we see a pix within a pix. The picture is just like an event that has happened. Our mind will never capture the whole picture (because it is changing all the time) but when we make meaning, we are capturing the part that we want it to represent the pix. Voila! you have made meaning.
For Hee Boon's berievement, I interprete it as:
'Anything can happen. Treasure what we have now'
'Life is more than work. We must continue to upgrade our understanding on life'
'Use Hee Boon's blogs as examples when talking about learning life'.
For those interested, you can check 'fhbadventure.blogspot.com'.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Tradition is also technology
Every day, tourists visit famous spots from The KL Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur to the Hoover Dam in Las Vegas, snapping photographs to be part of human progess in technology. But do you know that about 1000 years ago, tourists then also visited hot sites like Great Wall of China and The Aztec City because of its technology? Wait a minute, I thought we are talking about technology and if yes, how come we have lsot cities and great walls? Aren't those historical sites?
Well, this is the point I want to make. History and technology are actually the same thing but only different from the time dimension. The National Science Center is the sequel of the Museum and the Museum is the prequel of National Science Center. Again, the difference is only time.
In another 1000 years to come, The KL Twin Towers will be viewed as another historial site like the Great Wall of China. Now, if you could still live by then, would you call that technology or history? Well, both are right.
If you agree to the above, then we should have the same mindset for tradition and the traditional ways of doing things. People tend to take tradition as a way of the past. And worse than that, there are traditionists who go all out to preserve the tradition. But tradition, just like history, is alive and it keeps changing. On the health part, a lot of traditionists believe that the best way for living has been discovered thousand of years ago and hence modernizing any part of it is viewed as 'adulterating' the ancient art. To many Chinese, the tea drinking is a tradition where special earth pots are used and the way tea is brewed strictly follows a set of steps. We may be proud of this tradition but again, don't forget that the tea pot and the way of brewing tea were actually TECHNOLOGY that the Chinese were proud of 1000 years ago!
So, put it simply, tradition is merely a 'state of technology'. It is evolving and plays different roles in different eras of time. In the next 100 years, blog could be the traditional way of communicating as by then, nobody writes anymore...it's all about talking or talknology!!
Well, this is the point I want to make. History and technology are actually the same thing but only different from the time dimension. The National Science Center is the sequel of the Museum and the Museum is the prequel of National Science Center. Again, the difference is only time.
In another 1000 years to come, The KL Twin Towers will be viewed as another historial site like the Great Wall of China. Now, if you could still live by then, would you call that technology or history? Well, both are right.
If you agree to the above, then we should have the same mindset for tradition and the traditional ways of doing things. People tend to take tradition as a way of the past. And worse than that, there are traditionists who go all out to preserve the tradition. But tradition, just like history, is alive and it keeps changing. On the health part, a lot of traditionists believe that the best way for living has been discovered thousand of years ago and hence modernizing any part of it is viewed as 'adulterating' the ancient art. To many Chinese, the tea drinking is a tradition where special earth pots are used and the way tea is brewed strictly follows a set of steps. We may be proud of this tradition but again, don't forget that the tea pot and the way of brewing tea were actually TECHNOLOGY that the Chinese were proud of 1000 years ago!
So, put it simply, tradition is merely a 'state of technology'. It is evolving and plays different roles in different eras of time. In the next 100 years, blog could be the traditional way of communicating as by then, nobody writes anymore...it's all about talking or talknology!!
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Spend you are poor, don't spend you are poor too
Talking nonsense? Perhaps. But let me give you a scenario. Imagine that you suddenly realize that your uncle has included in his will 1 million dollars for you but he is now 60. Fortune tellers confirm that he will live up to 110 years. You are 40 now and that means you could only inherit that 1 million at age of 90 years, do you FEEL like a millionaire now?
The answer is mostly likely you don't have such feeling because you cannot access that fortune. The same goes with our own money and assets. If you do not ‘consume’ it, it is as good as not having in a way.
Hence, we must know how to differentiate between acquiring fortune and acquiring richness. Acquiring fortune simply means that we work hard to get more and more money. By doing so, we are able to keep more money for rainy days which of course is very important. But any savings beyond this point is going to be quite meaningless as it becomes your ‘uncle’s fortune’. It gives you a good feeling of assurance but apart from that, you do not benefit.
‘Acquiring richness’ to me simply means we try to acquire assets but without compromising quality of life. In other words, while we save, we also spend accordingly to improve quality of life. The principles that to be balanced here are ‘money for raining days’ and ‘leading a quality life’ without having assets stuck in ‘uncle’s property’.
Imagine we have a pay rise. Besides saving for the rainy days, why not also budget a bit for upgrading your internet service from dial-in to broadband? (If you need speed of course). Instead of cursing in a jam, use the highway with toll payment instead? Instead of worrying about getting a summon for illegal parking, park in a shopping mall perhaps? If you are in a stressful urban life like mine, these are little things that can help alleviate your suffering. By the way, it’s cheaper than treating hypertension for sure.
Well, the choice is ours. It’s a delicate balance between saving for rainy days and spending for quality life. If the worry is that there may not be enough for the next generation, may be my point of view can give some perspective:
a) maximize your death – we all know that death is certain. Buy insurance to cover it so that you use your money and your kids use your insurance money!
b) The best gift for the children is giving them education – not only in technical term like a college degree but AS WELL AS management skills such as how to manage money, manage time and manage LIFE!
The answer is mostly likely you don't have such feeling because you cannot access that fortune. The same goes with our own money and assets. If you do not ‘consume’ it, it is as good as not having in a way.
Hence, we must know how to differentiate between acquiring fortune and acquiring richness. Acquiring fortune simply means that we work hard to get more and more money. By doing so, we are able to keep more money for rainy days which of course is very important. But any savings beyond this point is going to be quite meaningless as it becomes your ‘uncle’s fortune’. It gives you a good feeling of assurance but apart from that, you do not benefit.
‘Acquiring richness’ to me simply means we try to acquire assets but without compromising quality of life. In other words, while we save, we also spend accordingly to improve quality of life. The principles that to be balanced here are ‘money for raining days’ and ‘leading a quality life’ without having assets stuck in ‘uncle’s property’.
Imagine we have a pay rise. Besides saving for the rainy days, why not also budget a bit for upgrading your internet service from dial-in to broadband? (If you need speed of course). Instead of cursing in a jam, use the highway with toll payment instead? Instead of worrying about getting a summon for illegal parking, park in a shopping mall perhaps? If you are in a stressful urban life like mine, these are little things that can help alleviate your suffering. By the way, it’s cheaper than treating hypertension for sure.
Well, the choice is ours. It’s a delicate balance between saving for rainy days and spending for quality life. If the worry is that there may not be enough for the next generation, may be my point of view can give some perspective:
a) maximize your death – we all know that death is certain. Buy insurance to cover it so that you use your money and your kids use your insurance money!
b) The best gift for the children is giving them education – not only in technical term like a college degree but AS WELL AS management skills such as how to manage money, manage time and manage LIFE!
Monday, April 10, 2006
Truth is painful
Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not talking about guys who cannot accept the truth because it’s too painful to acknowledge. Here, I’m talking about it in the literal sense i.e. ‘how can it be wrong when it’s so painful?’
This comment may sound silly on the surface but if we drill down further, we may notice that some of us do that some of the time while the rest do it all the time!
Do you recall any of these scenarios?
1. This drug is out of stock but I manage to get it via my friend. It has to be good right?
2. I took 6 months to make a decision to buy a new house. How can it be wrong when I took so much time to decide?
3. We broke off and came back in this yo-yo relationship for 10 years. She has to be the right one since we have made so many sacrifices.
4. I worked very hard for this company. What I am today is what I deserve
5. I have applied for this position 5 times and finally I got it. It is destined!
6. I paid a fortune for my kid to study in this school. How can it be a wrong school?
These are some examples of how pain makes something feel so right. But while it is true that a lot situations require sacrifices and hard work, don’t forget that there are situations where we don’t have to. In fact, when we do something with too many sacrifices, its' good to take one step back and ask ourselves if the strategy is right in the first place.
I have seen friends who suffer in their job but somehow they feel right because it’s so painful. While it sounds ‘meaningful’ enough to stay on, but my view was that my friend’s and his company’s required competencies do not match. For example, the company may want staff to take calculated risks, but the value of this friend is ‘protect company’s interest is rule no.1”. It’s no one’s fault but just a mismatch.
Well, take some of those works you are doing now which requires a lot of sacrifice. I know it is meaningful and justified, but just take a look again and see if you feel so right because of its value or because it’s painful. May be a right strategy will ease the situation.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Superstitiously confident?
I'm about to move to a new house. As a person growing up in a culture enriched with superstition, it's hard not to notice those elements around the house that may obstruct the 'chi' to flow freely in the house. So, there's always this tendency to neutralize those elements and the temptation to consult a master.
While the heart supports this proposition, the logical mind is as quickly to reject as it does not make much sense and the need to answer the ultimate question 'are you going to follow exactly what the master will advice you?? Even if you think it's a lousy recommendation from an ergonomic perspective?!'
After much thinking, I feel that both, ignoring those elements or consulting a geomancer is nothing more than a means to an end. It's just a method...a method that's used to increase confidence.
I think that when a person has the full confidence, it will attract good 'chi' and 'good chi' will beget more 'good chi'.
Hence, consulting a geomancer is basically boosting our confidence level and in that hyped state, we see the positive side of every event. And guess what? We see a solution.
So, when a person who consults a geomancer has done what is required, he too becomes confident and that confidence will lead to a positive mind...and hence positive energy. This is not only limited to geomancy. We sometimes also have our ‘lucky tie’ or ‘lucky pen’ which we believe give us the luck. It’s about boosting confidence as well. In NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), it’s called ‘anchoring’ which means trying to use an object, sound or action that can link a person back to that ‘great feeling’ he once has.
So, should we be superstitious? Go ahead if it can make you more confident. But my advice is not to be over-dependent so that without it, your confidence will not fall like a ton of bricks! To me, it’s still best to have the basic confidence in oneself that can be controlled within. Then, take your ‘lucky pen’ as bonus confidence booster. In this way, we are secured.
So, ladies and gentlemen, it's all about confidence at the end of the day.
While the heart supports this proposition, the logical mind is as quickly to reject as it does not make much sense and the need to answer the ultimate question 'are you going to follow exactly what the master will advice you?? Even if you think it's a lousy recommendation from an ergonomic perspective?!'
After much thinking, I feel that both, ignoring those elements or consulting a geomancer is nothing more than a means to an end. It's just a method...a method that's used to increase confidence.
I think that when a person has the full confidence, it will attract good 'chi' and 'good chi' will beget more 'good chi'.
Hence, consulting a geomancer is basically boosting our confidence level and in that hyped state, we see the positive side of every event. And guess what? We see a solution.
So, when a person who consults a geomancer has done what is required, he too becomes confident and that confidence will lead to a positive mind...and hence positive energy. This is not only limited to geomancy. We sometimes also have our ‘lucky tie’ or ‘lucky pen’ which we believe give us the luck. It’s about boosting confidence as well. In NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), it’s called ‘anchoring’ which means trying to use an object, sound or action that can link a person back to that ‘great feeling’ he once has.
So, should we be superstitious? Go ahead if it can make you more confident. But my advice is not to be over-dependent so that without it, your confidence will not fall like a ton of bricks! To me, it’s still best to have the basic confidence in oneself that can be controlled within. Then, take your ‘lucky pen’ as bonus confidence booster. In this way, we are secured.
So, ladies and gentlemen, it's all about confidence at the end of the day.
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