The long 15 days of Chinese New Year was finally over or was it really that long? For adults, somehow their watches and clocks tick faster than the kids.
For those how think the 15 days passed very quickly, I'm sure there would be some things that you wished you have done, may be meeting up with some friends or doing the thing you have always wanted to do but never have the time.
I have some unfulfilled or un-executed wishes just like many. But I think the root cause for my inaction is not so much of poor planning or time really passes by that fast. For me, it is definitely a case of 'not sure when the right time is.' I plan to have an open house but then again not sure what the right date is. So for the past 15 days, I have been doing something I called 'try and fix' a date. With the 15 days over, I am still in the 'try and fix' mode. What I could have done differently? I could have done it the way the young people do their things - 'fix and try'!
'Fix and try' simply means you are not sure when the right time is but you fix an arbitrary date and inform others. Then from that moment on, you try to maneuver and orchestrate to try to make it happen. I think this is a better way for at least the date is IN the plan. It may not happen, but at least we tried. It may be disappointing to some, but at least if it does materialize, the rewards are worth it. It may give you some extra work, but at least your 15 days will be longer.
We all know for a fact: 'let's catch up some day' simply means 'the day will never come.' They know it and we know it.
So, if you ever have something you want to do and do not know when, why not fix a date on it and try. The chances are anytime better than you try and fix a date.fix, try
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Thunderstorm in the mind
To those who celebrate the Chinese New Year, hope you have good gains besides cholesterol and weight :)
Before I touch on this subject which I'm sure is still a mystery to you, allow me to share a real simple incident that happened to me leading into this important realization.
I have 2 tongue scrappers in my toilet, one with a pink tag and one with a blue tag. My son slept in my room and we shared the same bathroom. One day, my kid learnt to use the tongue scrapper and ever since, he has been using it. As a matter of hygiene, we don't share the scrappers. My son likes blue color and presumably he will use the tongue scrapper with the blue tag. In the morning, i usually wake up much earlier than the rest and usually do not switch on the lights in order not to wake the rest up. In that gloomy bathroom, I will try hard to identify the scrapper with the pink tag. Every morning I do that and then 1 day, I told myself 'just pick one and if it's the wrong one, so be it!' That day was a good day because I realized an important lesson. Here it is:
Many a time, we want to have only the good things to happen. What we do is that we try to prolong some good events for as long as possible. Even if we can, back in our mind, we are still worried that one day, this good blessing may end. At the same time, we think of ways to fight or avoid any bad incidents from happening. If we compare these good and bad things that occur upon us, it is just like the blue and pink tongue scrappers. However, IF we can accept both good and bad events, and accept that they will come one way or another, suddenly you will realize that you have new-found energy and new-found peace. The thunderstorm in your mind suddenly ceases and it becomes a peaceful and refreshing secret garden. Everything is clean, refreshing and cooling.
However, don't get me wrong. We should continue to put effort in making the good things longer and do not intentionally invite bad things to come. The main difference is that, we are NOT WORRIED about bad things happening or good things not being prolonged. In other words, we still maintain peace in the mind regardless of what may come next. Mentally, we accept both and our mind is focused on how to deal with it, rather than dealing with the fear of it.
Have you had a good holiday and back in your mind, you wonder what bad things may happen in the office when you get back to work? Have you had the satisfaction when your stocks in the share market are doing well but you have concerns that the price may go down tomorrow? If we can accept that the good news and the bad news will come, share prices will go up and down...thenn the thunderstorm in your brain will cease.
It's very subtle and sometimes we do not notice. Here is a list of examples and hopefully it will help you recognize the source of thunderstorm in your mind:
- joy of meeting and sorrow of departing
- anticipation of good news and bad news
- good and bad investment
- good rumours and bad rumours about oneself
- genuine donations and scams
- finding friends honest and dishonest
- your loved ones love you more in some times and but less in some other times
Make your mind a peaceful secret garden :)
Before I touch on this subject which I'm sure is still a mystery to you, allow me to share a real simple incident that happened to me leading into this important realization.
I have 2 tongue scrappers in my toilet, one with a pink tag and one with a blue tag. My son slept in my room and we shared the same bathroom. One day, my kid learnt to use the tongue scrapper and ever since, he has been using it. As a matter of hygiene, we don't share the scrappers. My son likes blue color and presumably he will use the tongue scrapper with the blue tag. In the morning, i usually wake up much earlier than the rest and usually do not switch on the lights in order not to wake the rest up. In that gloomy bathroom, I will try hard to identify the scrapper with the pink tag. Every morning I do that and then 1 day, I told myself 'just pick one and if it's the wrong one, so be it!' That day was a good day because I realized an important lesson. Here it is:
Many a time, we want to have only the good things to happen. What we do is that we try to prolong some good events for as long as possible. Even if we can, back in our mind, we are still worried that one day, this good blessing may end. At the same time, we think of ways to fight or avoid any bad incidents from happening. If we compare these good and bad things that occur upon us, it is just like the blue and pink tongue scrappers. However, IF we can accept both good and bad events, and accept that they will come one way or another, suddenly you will realize that you have new-found energy and new-found peace. The thunderstorm in your mind suddenly ceases and it becomes a peaceful and refreshing secret garden. Everything is clean, refreshing and cooling.
However, don't get me wrong. We should continue to put effort in making the good things longer and do not intentionally invite bad things to come. The main difference is that, we are NOT WORRIED about bad things happening or good things not being prolonged. In other words, we still maintain peace in the mind regardless of what may come next. Mentally, we accept both and our mind is focused on how to deal with it, rather than dealing with the fear of it.
Have you had a good holiday and back in your mind, you wonder what bad things may happen in the office when you get back to work? Have you had the satisfaction when your stocks in the share market are doing well but you have concerns that the price may go down tomorrow? If we can accept that the good news and the bad news will come, share prices will go up and down...thenn the thunderstorm in your brain will cease.
It's very subtle and sometimes we do not notice. Here is a list of examples and hopefully it will help you recognize the source of thunderstorm in your mind:
- joy of meeting and sorrow of departing
- anticipation of good news and bad news
- good and bad investment
- good rumours and bad rumours about oneself
- genuine donations and scams
- finding friends honest and dishonest
- your loved ones love you more in some times and but less in some other times
Make your mind a peaceful secret garden :)
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